My wife and I would say hi when you moved in. We’d exchange small talk and eventually the conversation would hit a lull and you’d excuse yourself to go - you know, move in. I’d bring over cookies to greet you to the neighborhood. You’d offer an awkward smile, eat one, and throw the rest away later.

We’d exchange head nods or waves whenever one of us drives by. Occasionally, exchanging a “hey, nice weather huh?” when one if us passes by on a walk with the dog or just around the neighborhood.

The most interaction we’d have is when a tree branch falls on the fence during a winter storm. I’d pick up a few repair quotes, and come over with an offer to share the cost. Depending on your personality and personal financial situation, you’d either agree to pay part or start arguing that i should pay it all because the tree was on my property - and eventually I’d give up and pay for a bad neighbor fence.

If the former, we’d continue to have a friendly - if distant neighborly relationship. If the latter, we’d probably never interact again.

Porn fantasy version: I’d be banging you every night

Actual version: I’d think wow, she’s cute, I bet guys hassle her all the time, I’ll just wave hello if we run into each other outside

If we were neighbors, I would be trying my best to make small talk, and think of something interesting to talk about with you when we see each other, while trying not to stare too much, but probably failing at times.

I’d be trying hard to not get caught staring for too long and crossing my fingers you would be down at the pool every time I go.

If you took naked pictures in front of the windows or I found your online profile and recognized you - who knows? If you liked me too, we could be having a lot of fun together. ♥️😉 I would love having such sexy neighbor.

Eh sorry, I run out of sugar … could you give me some?

then you’d be the girl nextdoor

I would convince you to move in with me to spare some money and the hassle from going next door everytime we want to get it on. 😍