The licking would use a lot more battery power than driving a speaker, so it should probably lick when the battery is strong, not when it is getting low.

what a terrible day to be literate

That might make it worth the absurdly shitty sound quality they have.

So, I could in theory; get a rim job from an AirPod in this scenario. It must be said— free rim jobs with your purchase of 250$ headphones would be a fantastic investment.

— probably best to get an extra set in this case. I don’t need shit in my ears.

I should have listened to you

Tech content creators a few years later: Apple was ahead of everyone else!

I had a dog that loved the taste of earwax. He would be very persistent about licking my ears and, to tell the truth, it actually felt kind of nice. (He would also eat earplugs whenever he could get them, and when I cleaned his ears he would insist on eating his own earwax.)