When they ask you like that… it’s the cue o have a conversation on the F-ing subject. What are your hopes and dreams, kids, quick wedding or elaborate… you know… discuss what the future would hold together.
Once you have had those conversations you also know what the answer to a proposal will be.
We did all of that but then she decided she wanted someone who went to the same church, she told me maybe if I joined her church. Her church beat two children to death trying to expel demons. We actually separated after we couldn’t work it out
just so we’re clear here. When you ask someone to propose to you, you’re asking them to propose to you, there’s a place and a time for doing a haha funny this is actually not linear thought processing, for example you’re in a car, i’m waiting for you to pick me up so i tell you “run me over when you see me” that would obviously be a joke.
you ask someone what their thoughts on marriage are, if you’re curious what their thoughts on marriage are, the english language isn’t hard. If you have to do it multiple times, maybe you should probably, idk, ask more forwardly.
to be clear OP is probably a bit of a dumbass, but to be clear, it’s not their fault.
Like that… I mean in general when the topic of marriage is brought up in a circumstance that is not an obvious joke. And even when used as a joke it is something that should be taken as a queue to probe the subject… Verify that it’s not a joke hiding more. Some people are dumbasses but also some people think it’s hard to bring up the subject.
I once had a girl randomly tell me she wasn’t ready to get married. I was just like “uh, okay, I wasn’t planning to ask you”. What she really meant was she was cheating on me and wanted to break up.
like, i mean it might be hard to bring up, but i’m going to be bluntly honest here, probably don’t bring it up if you don’t feel ready or comfortable talking about it, you can always talk about the fact you’re uncomfortable about it as well. That’s another option.
There’s always a certain level of what i like to call conversational formality that one should apply. In the english language we use words like, the and ah an a i me, and various other words to help describe the specifics of what we’re talking about.
You can say something like “i have a blue backpack, it sits on that wall over there, there’s something important inside”
or you can say something like “blue bag, wall, important”
they both convey roughly the same message, but the former has vastly more detail in it, and is substantially more comprehend-able.
In the same way that you wouldn’t say “blue bag” when referring to something specific, you shouldn’t say “when are we getting married” in lieu of talking about marriage, it’s just not formal, or respectful at all. Personally, i just ignore anything like that that people say, if they don’t want me to know specifically what they’re talking about it’s not my problem, they can prod more, or simply do nothing about it. I could always ask, but again, wasn’t my idea.
i don’t know why people dance around topics like this, maybe i’m just highly autistic or something, but it just pisses me off. It’s almost like my time isn’t worth utilizing to the point of having a real discussion, so instead we’re having a meaningless conversation that doesn’t have a defined start or end, with no expected results.
for something like marriage it’s literally as simple as “hey, so what do you think about marriage?” and you can go from there, which is even less confrontational than something like “when are you going to propose to me?”
To me. They are asking you to propose. If they want to have a conversation there have the fucking conversation. Don’t play games. No one can read minds.
But it doesn’t matter to me either way. I don’t date. I won’t date. I’m done with dating. And I will never get married.
Regardless of what they are asking, you should have that conversation for your own sake, not just theirs. Though I’d also argue that if you are going to get married, you should want to do it for their sake, too. And if you resent them for not speaking their mind, don’t marry them.
It’s not always playing games… some people also just come out and say it… others will mask it with a joke… but then the conversation needs to be had. Not always full serious… we need to talk… but this is a good cue. As the other poster said … for both your sakes.
Hope you are OK… don’t know how to read your “I’m don’t with it”.
Life tip: if you don’t already KNOW the answer is yes, don’t ask. It’s too early.
I had a girlfriend asking me like twice a week for a year- when I was going to propose and then I did and she said no.
When they ask you like that… it’s the cue o have a conversation on the F-ing subject. What are your hopes and dreams, kids, quick wedding or elaborate… you know… discuss what the future would hold together.
Once you have had those conversations you also know what the answer to a proposal will be.
We did all of that but then she decided she wanted someone who went to the same church, she told me maybe if I joined her church. Her church beat two children to death trying to expel demons. We actually separated after we couldn’t work it out
Sounds like you dodged a large bullet there
Yeah, life sucks and that experience sucked, but it would be much worse
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Wtf dude?
Can you delete this?
Everyone can enjoy my fucked up story but I don’t see why you decided to repost it
Removed by mod
… why?
Come now, do better.
damn, dick move mate, keep that shit for yourself homie.
just so we’re clear here. When you ask someone to propose to you, you’re asking them to propose to you, there’s a place and a time for doing a haha funny this is actually not linear thought processing, for example you’re in a car, i’m waiting for you to pick me up so i tell you “run me over when you see me” that would obviously be a joke.
you ask someone what their thoughts on marriage are, if you’re curious what their thoughts on marriage are, the english language isn’t hard. If you have to do it multiple times, maybe you should probably, idk, ask more forwardly.
to be clear OP is probably a bit of a dumbass, but to be clear, it’s not their fault.
Like that… I mean in general when the topic of marriage is brought up in a circumstance that is not an obvious joke. And even when used as a joke it is something that should be taken as a queue to probe the subject… Verify that it’s not a joke hiding more. Some people are dumbasses but also some people think it’s hard to bring up the subject.
I once had a girl randomly tell me she wasn’t ready to get married. I was just like “uh, okay, I wasn’t planning to ask you”. What she really meant was she was cheating on me and wanted to break up.
That sucks… I’d call her a cheating whore… but for the same you might still be together… life is funny in a crying kind of way.
We are not. That took place a decade ago and I haven’t spoken to her since.
like, i mean it might be hard to bring up, but i’m going to be bluntly honest here, probably don’t bring it up if you don’t feel ready or comfortable talking about it, you can always talk about the fact you’re uncomfortable about it as well. That’s another option.
There’s always a certain level of what i like to call conversational formality that one should apply. In the english language we use words like, the and ah an a i me, and various other words to help describe the specifics of what we’re talking about.
You can say something like “i have a blue backpack, it sits on that wall over there, there’s something important inside”
or you can say something like “blue bag, wall, important”
they both convey roughly the same message, but the former has vastly more detail in it, and is substantially more comprehend-able.
In the same way that you wouldn’t say “blue bag” when referring to something specific, you shouldn’t say “when are we getting married” in lieu of talking about marriage, it’s just not formal, or respectful at all. Personally, i just ignore anything like that that people say, if they don’t want me to know specifically what they’re talking about it’s not my problem, they can prod more, or simply do nothing about it. I could always ask, but again, wasn’t my idea.
i don’t know why people dance around topics like this, maybe i’m just highly autistic or something, but it just pisses me off. It’s almost like my time isn’t worth utilizing to the point of having a real discussion, so instead we’re having a meaningless conversation that doesn’t have a defined start or end, with no expected results.
for something like marriage it’s literally as simple as “hey, so what do you think about marriage?” and you can go from there, which is even less confrontational than something like “when are you going to propose to me?”
Also just like don’t joke about such things if you aren’t prepared for people to take it as a hint
Humor is a natural defense mechanism for people. A relationship takes 2 to tango.
To me. They are asking you to propose. If they want to have a conversation there have the fucking conversation. Don’t play games. No one can read minds.
But it doesn’t matter to me either way. I don’t date. I won’t date. I’m done with dating. And I will never get married.
Regardless of what they are asking, you should have that conversation for your own sake, not just theirs. Though I’d also argue that if you are going to get married, you should want to do it for their sake, too. And if you resent them for not speaking their mind, don’t marry them.
It’s not always playing games… some people also just come out and say it… others will mask it with a joke… but then the conversation needs to be had. Not always full serious… we need to talk… but this is a good cue. As the other poster said … for both your sakes.
Hope you are OK… don’t know how to read your “I’m don’t with it”.
cue, not queue …
LPT: Don’t give queues that can be severely misunderstood, just fucking ask what you want to know.
*cue
*cue
Hehe … wait in line.
Trolling level champion
Or speedrun the rejection with a ring from Claire’s 5 for $5