My neighbor bought a new 64K truck (I know because he constantly mentions the cost) had a lift kit installed for 15K (I know because he constantly mentions the cost) has four kids who are bullies (I know because I see and hear them), and constantly complains about gas prices and property taxes, despite the fact that he is one of two houses in the neighborhood with kids.

Most of property taxes go to fund the public schools, which his children attend. Basically the neighborhood is subsidizing his children’s education, but he thinks he deserves to pay less in taxes. I explained this, and he told me I was full of shit, but I think he knew I was right, because he started revving his engine early in the morning the day after that and did it for like two weeks.

Hilariously, he stopped doing it not because I complained – I’m up early anyway – but because his wife came out in pajamas and started screaming at him for waking her up. Quite the metaphor for Republicanism.

I gotta get out of this neighborhood.