Im just a terrible person. I walk wrong. I talk wrong. I breathe wrong. I exist wrong and everyone around me makes sure I know it. I don’t think suicide is a choice that is worth making but I do eagerly await the sweet release of death sometimes. I just needed to vent and you all get my sadness right now.

  • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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    2 months ago

    OP is a Trumper racist troll and deserves to feel like this, y’all. Go through their comment history and you will see their hate and bigotry.

    Fuck you OP.

  • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.org
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    2 months ago

    Do you hate days like this because you voted for trump as you said in a differrnt thread?

  • remotelove@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    wrong different

    There is no such thing as normal, so embrace who you are in all of your different ways.

    Even if physical handicaps are involved, like you actually can’t walk a straight line or if you have difficulty breathing, that has its own challenges but it’s not wrong.

    And yeah. People can be really dick’ish sometimes and that sucks. The sooner you stop giving a fuck what they think, the sooner you can be happier with yourself.

    The second I embraced who I was, in my own ways, I could stop killing myself slowly with booze. Alcohol was just my own way of coping and it really sucked.

    It’s impossible for me to fully understand what you are going through, but FWIW, I can relate. And trust me, life can get better if you let it, but make no mistake: I know it ain’t as easy as saying the words.

    Chin up and keep on keepin’ on!

    • Angrywaffle2@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      I don’t care what others think but it can be exhausting when everyone seems to want to bully you. Look at this post. It’s a decent reflection of probably many people on the autistic spectrum. I said I’m in a place where I’m just frustrated and out of nowhere people are bringing up my political beliefs. This isn’t real life so it’s not an exact replica but it feels similar.

      I’ll just be minding my own business then people just go full asshole.

      “YOU’RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

      And just stand there confused.

  • Mac@mander.xyz
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    2 months ago

    Reject normality.
    Look around you. People walk different, talk different, breathe different.
    Humanity is not cookie-cutter. We are all different and in that way we are all the same.

    I understand that you feel cast out from the tribe but i assure you that even the ‘normies’ feel that way sometimes—i have insider information.
    We all have this ideal state of being in mind that very few of us can even attempt to achieve.

    Work to accept yourself as-is.
    You are one of us.
    You are human.

     

    Btw, here’s a fun thing i will share with you:
    i have been breathing consciously all day today and it’s driving me fucking insane.
    I think I’m anxious but I’m not sure why.

  • levzzz@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Hey, I feel like that too, at times. I suppose escapism through hobbies and/or fictional media helps. Try to reflect on what you can change and what you should change.

  • Possibly linux@lemmy.zip
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    20 days ago

    I know this is a month late but you need a break. Stop whatever you are doing and relax for a while.

    This is likely burn out and it is something that is an issue outside of Autism.

  • randomdeadguy@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    What we are seeing is a symptom of a bigger issue. Yes autism spectrum folks feel strange and different and terrible. Living with that gives us a resistance to those who would attack us sometimes. In this case, the autism has been weaponized into supporting fascism. OP has been hoodwinked and taken advantage of for a social media spectacle.

    However, no member of this community should feel justified in trusting anyone that would threaten the livelihood of the disabled. OP’s ideas are not well thought out, but they are still reaching out for help. We are the ones that should be giving support for our fellow autist, not the MAGA.

    This situation sucks. For all of us. For liberty and justice for all.

    • Angrywaffle2@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      Im really looking forward to watching Trump go full bull in a China shop and fuck shit up so people like you have a meltdown of epic proportions. My ideas are not well thought out? Do you realize how much you sound like an entitled asshat? People like you are the exact reason Trump won. People like you are the exact reason people like me will work thier ass off to make sure you’re level of crazy is never allowed substantial political power. You don’t deserve it.

        • Angrywaffle2@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 month ago

          Well seriously dude. One thing I’ve realized recently is even opinions i think are dumb are grounded in a different reality than mine. Two people can see the same events very differently just because of stuff they do not control at all. Someone that was raped as a child will view abortion differently than someone who was not. That dosen’t mean one person or the other is bad. That just means life has treated those 2 people very different and saying that someone has nothing thought out what they believe just because you disagree is an utterly shit tier take.

          Attitudes like this is why the left just got rocked in that election. Both centrists and the right look at the entitled asshole mentality many on the left currently have and are disgusted by it. Opinions you disagree with are not invalid or poorly thought out. They are just different options. That’s it.

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.place
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    2 months ago

    I swear, we are the ultimate scapegoats for bullies. I’ve been going through a similar experience for a while. It’s like people try to find anything that they can criticize and use it to shame me rather than have an open and forthcoming discussion to address it. Being autistic, we’re always guessing how to do things in a world where everyone else knows the rules, which are meant to be followed, and which are meant to be violated.

    Au: You’re violating a rule.

    NT 1: Yeah, but it’s okay. It’s not a big deal because it doesn’t harm anyone and everyone else is doing it.

    Au: violates rule and gets caught because they thought that’s normal and expected

    NT 2: That is a rule. Why did you violate it?

    Au: Because it doesn’t harm anyone and everyone else is doing it

    NT 1 & 2: So now you’re snitching too?

    Here’s another one. You learn a rule and apply it in the situation you learned it. However, you didn’t know it was applicable in other similar situations, so you don’t apply it. People get upset with you because they have seen you apply it in the first situation, so you “should have known” and therefore need to be punished. 😮‍💨

    I don’t care how you walk, talk, or breathe. You be you. Don’t accept other people’s shame being dumped on you. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, tell them that you don’t like what they do that makes you feel bad. If they keep doing it, stop being around them as much as possible. It’s not your responsibility to help others process their shame. You are your main responsibility and already working with a disadvantage. Make sure you’re okay ❤️

    • Angrywaffle2@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      I’ve been labeled a snitch at work. A guy im not even close with thought it would be fun to hit me in the nuts. If I didn’t react to you I know it would of just continued to happen and I’m not ok with that. So i involved supervision because fuck that. Now I’m a terrible person. Mostly because I refused to accept bullying. The whole situation is just pathetic really.

      Same shit different place though. It’s ridiculous.

  • TeryVeneno@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Honestly my guy, you are not terrible person. I get where you’re at though, humans are social creatures and we do everything in power to make social reality actual reality. But you gotta remember that actual reality is the thing that actually exists not the social reality. We made that one up. And in the real reality the one that matters, you just exist nothing more nothing less. There is no wrong or right just existence.

    I hope you can find people who are not living in the fake social reality and at least try to live in real reality. They will be your people. I found some of mine, I believe you will find yours.