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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/Flamesake on 2024-11-09 08:04:58+00:00.

I have been sick for years and I can’t do it anymore, I can’t bear the knowledge that my life is passing me by.

I want to be capable of working tirelessly at something and feeling satisfied with the results. Or if not that, at least to be able to listen to music or read for a few hours every day. As it stands, if I try to do any amount of activity, even passive activities, even with resting in between, even sitting down, changing what I’m doing every so often, I still feel terrible not even halfway into the day. Terrible as in I have to go to bed for the rest of the day, I’m nauseous, drowsy, can’t relax.

I turn 30 in a few months and haven’t begun anything in life. At one point I thought I was going to have a career in engineering or data science, then for a while I was trying to be a musician. It’s all gone now. I’ve lost about 30 IQ points and I can’t sustain any focused effort. Just moping around the house all day is more effort than I can handle. Sitting quietly in the backyard or walking around the block is something to endure.

I can’t just accept this, I can’t pace everything away and pretend there’s enough left to be happy. I need it fixed for fuck’s sake.