Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she’s very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State… it’s CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠
#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)
Texas is weird.
I was so fucking confused I kept seeing Tesla instead of Texas
First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.
They came for the dildos…… and BOY did they came!!!
Because I was not a dildo
Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!
How were they enforcing this?
It’s just a tack on when they do search warrants… oh we did not find any drugs but we found 7 dildos… Off to prison!
That’s not a dildo, it’s a stirring stick.
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
Policemen Josh and Wade showing up to a party:
Josh: “Alright Wade, let’s make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there.”
Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I’d rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
Oh don’t worry. They’ll get around to doing that as well.
well hey you only have 3 holes to a person
What if you want to triple stuff?
You would not be in a state of Texas then
What if it was a dildo-gun?
What part of 'shall not be infringed ’ do you not understand!? 🤣
Gun with an erogenous handle?
Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.
They’re basically just disposable bullet style vibrators.
The lawmakers are afraid of the competition
So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?
Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom…
Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?
There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.
Have you seen their politicians?
those are just plain ol’ dicks
I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.
Ever bring a dildo to a gun fight?
No, but there was the time someone brought a dildo wielding drone to a campaign event and attacked the Bernallio county Sheriff with a “dongcopter.”
Source?
yea that’d be a rookie mistake
This dude knows where the purple dildo is in GTA Vice City.
Exactly!
