It’s an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.
When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well:
We both happened to have been through Some Shit before as these things go.
We shared understanding and sympathy about what it’s like to be manipulated and treated poorly by toxic people.
We were both confident about what we were and were not interested in, and were comfortable asserting ourselves about our own needs as well as listening and accommodating one another’s.
We were also both living independently and staying afloat on our own, so if our dating didn’t work out ending the relationship wouldn’t have cost either of us our home/job/etc. (In my abusive situation this had not been the case.)
It’s an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.
When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well: