I literally don’t carry condoms in my wallet. You can see in that comment thread that its my quarters for getting a cart at Aldi. I am biologically male, but that doesn’t make me a man. I also sit down to pee and have boobs. My relationship is with gender is more than a little bit complicated. It also does not matter to the argument, men are allowed to criticize people’s behavior towards women, and it’d be dumb to argue they can’t.
And yes, telling what people mean over the internet is hard, which is why I don’t suggest that someone is doing something wrong when I don’t know what they mean, and instead ask, like I asked you.
And to be very clear, assigning my intentions or motives is also a dick thing to do; I did actually mean that he’s an asshole because he’s being dismissive of someone’s frustrations. Its not helped by the fact that he’s being dismissive of a uniquely afab experience and saying he has it worse as a man, but the way he engages with her is shitty entirely independent from the lens of gender. I think that if you hear someone’s frustrations and respond with “wow, my problem is way bigger than yours” you’re an emotionally and interpersonally incompetent jerk.
I literally did not say that women should be offended by this, that is an interpretation on your part, and going around calling people out based on your assumptions of them is a jerk thing to do.
And to reiterate, your callout is much more an example of speaking for others than “wow, that guy lacks any empathy and is being shitty to her”
This entire exchange has been entirely unnecessarily hostile. Have a nice day.
No it’s not. if we’re talking about the fake circumstance of the comic as being a reality, then shouldn’t it be up to the woman to say that line of conversation or action is uncomfortable? We’re all individuals right?
And because one thing is offensive for one person, what makes it offensive for the next person. Let people say for themselves what offends them
Your argument is that I’m speaking for others, which you argue by telling me what I meant by my own comment.
That’s stupid. I shouldn’t have to point out that that’s stupid, but here we are.
With regards to your other comment, you are of course allowed to criticize what I had to say, but if you go about it in a weird, unpleasant, and hostile way, where you make assumptions about me, act entitled to knowing personal intimate details about me, poorly overanalyze my profile history, and argue what I did wrong by doing literally that exact thing to me, then I’m entirely entitled to telling you I think you’re being an asshole.
The difference is that I criticized a fictional character, and you’re talking to an actual human. So when you go about your disagreement in a weird, shitty way, a real human being reads what you said and is affected by it.
It would have been entirely reasonable to say “it kinda feels like you’re telling other people to be mad about this, I don’t think we should speak on other people’s behalf”. If you felt it was unclear what I meant, it would have been entirely appropriate to ask, in exactly the same way as I asked you what you meant.
I’m not unhappy you disagree with me, I’m unhappy you insist on telling me what I meant by my own comment, and are acting like you’re entitled to knowing what genetailia I have. What’s in my pants is none of your fucking business. it wasn’t even relevant to the argument.
The way you’ve engaged with me has been super shitty, for no reason. Unlike the person I jokingly criticized I’m an actual human, and after criticizing me (fine, people on the internet are more hostile than they need to be for no reason, whatever), you went on to be wildly disrespectful, make assumptions, assert that I’m lying about what was meant by my original comment and that you “see through me”, and play guessing games about whether I have a penis or not on the mistaken premise that having a penis makes me a man, and that being a man would invalidate my argument.
Thats not an appropriate way to engage with people. We don’t get to choose whether we understand social norms or what’s considered inappropriate, but that doesn’t absolve you of the fact you’ve been a fucking asshole to me over the fact you thought I was speaking for other people when I left a joke comment under a comic.
You’re not entitled to knowing personal shit about me, or what’s in my pants, and you certainly don’t get to speak on my behalf about what I did or didn’t mean. You wanna ask what I mean? Tell me you think it came off like I’m telling people what to think? Totally appropriate. You didn’t do that.
And on that note, I’m not engaging with you anymore, you’re clearly either lacking the interpersonal skills to engage with people around you in a way that doesn’t suck, or you’re a troll and you’ve successfully wasted some of my time. Horray for you 🎉.
I literally don’t carry condoms in my wallet. You can see in that comment thread that its my quarters for getting a cart at Aldi. I am biologically male, but that doesn’t make me a man. I also sit down to pee and have boobs. My relationship is with gender is more than a little bit complicated. It also does not matter to the argument, men are allowed to criticize people’s behavior towards women, and it’d be dumb to argue they can’t.
And yes, telling what people mean over the internet is hard, which is why I don’t suggest that someone is doing something wrong when I don’t know what they mean, and instead ask, like I asked you.
And to be very clear, assigning my intentions or motives is also a dick thing to do; I did actually mean that he’s an asshole because he’s being dismissive of someone’s frustrations. Its not helped by the fact that he’s being dismissive of a uniquely afab experience and saying he has it worse as a man, but the way he engages with her is shitty entirely independent from the lens of gender. I think that if you hear someone’s frustrations and respond with “wow, my problem is way bigger than yours” you’re an emotionally and interpersonally incompetent jerk.
I literally did not say that women should be offended by this, that is an interpretation on your part, and going around calling people out based on your assumptions of them is a jerk thing to do.
And to reiterate, your callout is much more an example of speaking for others than “wow, that guy lacks any empathy and is being shitty to her”
This entire exchange has been entirely unnecessarily hostile. Have a nice day.
No it’s not. if we’re talking about the fake circumstance of the comic as being a reality, then shouldn’t it be up to the woman to say that line of conversation or action is uncomfortable? We’re all individuals right?
And because one thing is offensive for one person, what makes it offensive for the next person. Let people say for themselves what offends them
Your argument is that I’m speaking for others, which you argue by telling me what I meant by my own comment.
That’s stupid. I shouldn’t have to point out that that’s stupid, but here we are.
With regards to your other comment, you are of course allowed to criticize what I had to say, but if you go about it in a weird, unpleasant, and hostile way, where you make assumptions about me, act entitled to knowing personal intimate details about me, poorly overanalyze my profile history, and argue what I did wrong by doing literally that exact thing to me, then I’m entirely entitled to telling you I think you’re being an asshole.
The difference is that I criticized a fictional character, and you’re talking to an actual human. So when you go about your disagreement in a weird, shitty way, a real human being reads what you said and is affected by it.
It would have been entirely reasonable to say “it kinda feels like you’re telling other people to be mad about this, I don’t think we should speak on other people’s behalf”. If you felt it was unclear what I meant, it would have been entirely appropriate to ask, in exactly the same way as I asked you what you meant.
I’m not unhappy you disagree with me, I’m unhappy you insist on telling me what I meant by my own comment, and are acting like you’re entitled to knowing what genetailia I have. What’s in my pants is none of your fucking business. it wasn’t even relevant to the argument.
The way you’ve engaged with me has been super shitty, for no reason. Unlike the person I jokingly criticized I’m an actual human, and after criticizing me (fine, people on the internet are more hostile than they need to be for no reason, whatever), you went on to be wildly disrespectful, make assumptions, assert that I’m lying about what was meant by my original comment and that you “see through me”, and play guessing games about whether I have a penis or not on the mistaken premise that having a penis makes me a man, and that being a man would invalidate my argument.
Thats not an appropriate way to engage with people. We don’t get to choose whether we understand social norms or what’s considered inappropriate, but that doesn’t absolve you of the fact you’ve been a fucking asshole to me over the fact you thought I was speaking for other people when I left a joke comment under a comic.
You’re not entitled to knowing personal shit about me, or what’s in my pants, and you certainly don’t get to speak on my behalf about what I did or didn’t mean. You wanna ask what I mean? Tell me you think it came off like I’m telling people what to think? Totally appropriate. You didn’t do that.
And on that note, I’m not engaging with you anymore, you’re clearly either lacking the interpersonal skills to engage with people around you in a way that doesn’t suck, or you’re a troll and you’ve successfully wasted some of my time. Horray for you 🎉.
Have a nice day.