In case anyone’s been following my posts, about this, I was given a 6 month course of therapy to deal with depression and anxiety. It seemed a bit pointless to me since my depression and anxiety are caused by poverty, which therapy won’t fix, but if I refused the sessions it would adversely affect my benefit appeal. The therapy was shit, the therapist was shit, and today was my final session, and I’m so relieved it’s finally over.
Here are some of the highlights of my sessions with her:
Said she can’t give me the good treatments like EDMR, because I’m still living in the bad situation that is causing my problems, and these kinds of therapies are for after the problem has ended, to help you get over it. So she can’t do anything for me other than meditation and drawing pictures.
When I spoke about traumatising things that have ended that I’d like EDMR for, such as a time I was violently assaulted, she instead tried to get my to sympathise with my attackers, and imagine what problems they have in their lives that drove them to assault a random stranger, and feel sorry for them.
Shamed and disparaged me for asking for food vouchers on here, even though she knows I have no money whatsoever.
Basically told me that me killing myself is a good idea - she said, given my issues and the fact that they can’t be solved, it seems a reasonable plan that I would aim to commit suicide one day. She said she’s done all she can for me and there’s no point putting me forward for further therapy. I mean, I do agree suicide is the eventual answer for me but it seems a bit unprofessional for a therapist to agree.
She thinks it’s no big deal that I could be homeless soon, she said she’ll just give me the number of a homeless shelter. She doesn’t seem at all concerned about my financial situation and even said she might tell the DWP I have missed some of her sessions, even though she knows this puts me at bigger risk of losing my appeal. I wonder if this might be retaliation for the fact I’ve missed some sessions with her - maybe she doesn’t get paid for those sessions so she wants to punish me?
The “therapy” has consisted of nothing but meditation, drawing pictures and her writing timetables for me to stick to. Then she gets angry with me that this isn’t making any difference to my life.
Told me off during a meditation that involved body movements, because my left side wasn’t moving as much as the right. Even though she knows my left side is affected by the fact I’ve had a stroke.
Puts me in the most bleach and perfume smelling room even though I’ve told her it triggers my migraines.
Has often turned up late and dismissed me early so the sessions only last 3/4 of the time they’re meant to.
I’m sure there’s been other stuff too that I can’t remember now. Anyway I’m glad I don’t have to see her any more but I’m worried about her telling the DWP I’ve missed some sessions, they might use it against me at my appeal.
I’m sorry you had to go through that 🫂
The history of Psychiatry and Psychology is riddled with racism and pseudo-science, and, unfortunately, I feel like things haven’t changed enough. It doesn’t surprise me that the disabled are being discriminated against too. From the 19th century, Phrenology, where psychologists claimed that white people are more intelligent because they have a “different” shape of the skull, was widely believed as it reinforced white supremacy. Or, in the 20th century, “Lobotomies”, which damage someone’s brain enough so that they can be lifeless and obedient earned a Nobel prize. In both cases, psychologists flaunted their intellectual superiority and saw the ill as burdens to society. I believe the same thing is happening with this century’s psychologists, but on a smaller scale
Definitely. I’ve had several refuse to write me letters for my benefit claims, even though I am diagnosed. It would cost them 5 minutes to do. It costs me everything when they don’t. They just don’t care. And when my current one found out I’ve been feeding myself by begging for food vouchers on here, she looked at me with utter contempt and said I have to stop doing that. Like OK, I’ll just starve then. They really don’t care if I’m starving, destitute and homeless. Then she gets angry that her silly “therapy” hasn’t cured me.
What the fuck? I wanna throw hands how the fuck could someone allow themselves to talk to another human being like that? Let alone someone who is tasked with talking vulnerable people through their struggles? Its their fucking JOB.
I thought I had some bad therapists but this one sounds like an interrogator that got lost. A good therapist can do wonders and I’m so sorry you were put through that.
Thanks. I also got a migraine today from being forced to go in a perfume/bleach smelling room. I hate that place.
sounds like a horrorshow
could you refer her for malpractice or some shit?
I’ve thought about it, but there are two problems with that. First I don’t think they’d care, the therapy centre has nothing but 1 star reviews online and they have a huge turnover of staff, no-one is there long enough to care. Also I’m worried she’d get revenge on me by fucking up my benefit appeal somehow, telling them I didn’t attend all the sessions or something. I did miss some of the sessions due to illness.
Not the center, but some kind of ethics commission or certification authority or whatever exists? you can’t just become therapist i assume in britain. you could do it after benefit appeal maybe, because they seem like a menace to society to be allowed to walk around
I’ll think about it after the benefit appeal. But really all therapists are shit. I had an emergency appointment with a different one once, as I was feeling very suicidal. She told me to buy the new age book “The Secret,” about the law of attraction, and use it to attract whatever I want into my life, then I won’t be depressed any more. That was all, she then practically shoved me out the door. No more help. They’re all awful.
I can’t believe healthcare can be so medieval
WTF are they licensed?
I’m not sure. My previous therapist, who I saw at the same place in 2019 (and who was also terrible), admitted she wasn’t even qualified yet. If you don’t have to be qualified to work as an NHS therapist I don’t know whether you have to be licensed.
Wow, this is completely ridiculous. In no circumstances should they be allowed to practice until they are qualified and licensed. The only reasonable exception i can see is if they are a student who should not be in a situation of power over others like they are with you. Everything you’ve described on here is just cruelty on their part. I’m so sorry.
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I will not denounce her publicly as she could ruin my benefit appeal for me, as I have said. I am already in danger of homelessness and have no money for food, and it’s bad enough when it’s temporary. I am not going to make my situation permanent by pissing her off so she ruins my life.
And yes, suicide is often the answer. I am having lifelong cancer treatment which is awful and has ruined my life. I’ve had a stroke (as a result of the cancer treatment) which has left me partially sighted and unable to walk properly. I’m in constant pain, there’s no cure and the doctors say I’m at risk of another stroke or the cancer coming back. I live in absolute poverty so bad I have to beg for food on here because I can’t work and society thinks people who don’t work shouldn’t eat. I will spend the rest of my life in pain, having horrible medical treatments, disabled, being dragged through endless disability benefit assessments and appeals, in poverty. Every time I have my benefits stopped during another appeal I’ll be back here, begging for food aid, making post after post until someone answers. My feet are so infected with ulcers that I need multiple surgeries on them. I have to beg for the money to buy the bandages because the NHS doesn’t provide them. And it’s looking like soon I’ll be homeless, in winter, while ill.
Quite honestly I found your post offensive, narrow-minded, judgmental and completely thoughtless. "It’s a stupid and narrow decision that should be avoided at all costs" “I feel like you’re not evaluating things correctly.” “Don’t be afraid of the hardships,” this is nothing but patronising drivel. I am tired of people like you trying to pressure me into being some kind of martyr to a cause. Just because you are lucky enough not to be in a position where there is no way out does not mean you’re better at evaluating situations than other people. I should not be pressured into decades more pain, illness, unwanted medical treatments, poverty and homelessness just because some people refuse to accept that other people should be allowed to decide their lives aren’t worth living. Do you even know or care what the statistics are on homeless women being raped? Nearly a tenth of homeless women get raped twice a year on average! Why tf should I live a life of multiple rapes just because you think I should be devoting my existence to campaigning? So easy for you to say all this shit when you aren’t the one at risk. Not to mention if I become homeless soon after my foot surgeries I’ll be on the streets with open surgical wounds, nowhere clean or dry to change the dressings, no way to wash and soak my feet as instructed, the feet will probably get much more infected than they are now.
I don’t judge those who commit suicide you say, then go on to say that people who do it are stupid. This is the most infuriating and judgmental post I’ve ever seen on this site. I don’t owe it to you or to any cause to live like this. If you don’t think homelessness is a big deal, then give me your home and you go and live on the street. You know what, I’ve had several people on here and hexbear toy with me for fun, string me along promising me food aid, and then not delivering. I thought those people were the lowest of the low, but all the crap you just said is even more upsetting and disappointing than that.
The incredible irony is, you can see how shit and infuriating the things my therapist said to me were, and you denounce her for that, and then YOU go and say things that are just as bad, if not worse. Absolutely no self-awareness at all. What you’re doing is no different than what capitalists do - treating me like I’m not a human but a commodity that has to provide some value to society while getting nothing in return. Capitalists say “Who cares if you’re too poor to buy a home as long as you can still work and provide value to my business?” While you say, “Who cares if you’re homeless, you can still work for the cause on the streets.” Literally no difference at all.
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It isn’t as easy as you are making out. I have already made one suicide attempt. I researched methods for months, taking into account what materials could realistically be obtained, what methods I’d be likely to succeed at, what would hopefully be the least painful and most likely to succeed. In the end I chose a method that had easily accessible materials, seemed easy enough for a disabled person to accomplish, and was said to be fairly painless and likely to be successful. I spent some time obtaining the materials, made sure I had a suitable time and place where I would not be disturbed, and carried out the method exactly as instructed. It turned out to be very painful, was obviously not successful, I spent 5 days in intensive care and have permanent physical damage from it. So I clearly am going to be very, very careful about any future attempts. I live in the UK so cannot access a gun. I joined a suicide website to find someone to help me to do it (after my stroke I can barely use the left side of my body and have become partially sighted so I need help to do most things), but every time I met someone and we made a plan, they changed their mind and let me down. If I had money I would go to dignitas. It would be absolutely pointless for me to rush into making another failed attempt on my own. There is no part of me that wants to live, I simply don’t want to be in intensive care after another failed attempt again.
I also will not “catch the sympathy” of people on social media. I mean, look at your response to me, it’s just judgment about why I’m not rushing out to kill myself right now, without a thought about the difficulties involved in it. And you’re joking if you think people are sympathetic to the unemployed, disabled or suicidal. I was treated like absolute shit in hospital after my suicide attempt. People judged the hell out of me because I was wasting a bed being in there through my own fault. Nobody was interested in what had driven me to it. Same thing with being on benefits, people have been rude and judgmental to me about it without a thought of the struggles that drove me to give up working.
I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are really young without much hardship in your life, because if you’re an adult and have been through anything, you are shockingly blasé and censorious about other peoples’ suffering and what they should do about it.
Thank you for your response, comrade. And thank you further for your honest criticism. I’m being honest too, so if I’m sound judgemental it’s my difficulty to empathize and arrogance speaking. I’m grateful for you pointing it out to me.
Do you have any loved ones that will miss you? If so, have you talked to them about your decision?
EDIT: My previous comments were removed per request of the administrators.
Please don’t imply people who commit suicide are stupid
