Much like anything else, being asexual is a spectrum. It took me a very long time to figure out I was and that’s because I personally didn’t get any physical satisfaction out of sex, but I enjoyed the part where I made my partner absolutely melt with pleasure. Feeling romantic or emotional pleasure from sex is not uncommon, especially when coupled with someone who gets a ton of pleasure from it. That being said, I haven’t had sex in over a year, and from the way things look, I’m not going to for a very long time. I won’t say it’s voluntary though it’s definitely not because my partner doesn’t want to.
Oh interesting 🤔 from the people that I have a more in-deph conservation, I understood that sex wasn’t enjoyable for them because they felt really uncomfortable with it which resulted in a non-satisfying experience for the partner and in turn, generated a feeling of failure to be a good partner in them.
It is really interesting to hear different perspectives. Thanks for sharing and please anyone who wants to, share with me your thoughts and feelings on the matter!
I would assume that there are different ‘reasons’ that cause the broader feel of asexuality. Mine is a complete apathy for the want or need of it. I can enjoy making others feel good, such as giving them a massage in a normal way. I can feel that my work towards helping them feel good is rewarding in and of itself.
I figured out my side of things when after being with my partner for many years I was getting increasingly frustrated that while they were able to enjoy the experience for what seemed perpetual, my side of things remained the same, regardless of whatever was done. To feel the same for oral or penetrative felt like something was wrong to me so I started looking around st other types of options. I did whatever appealed to me but in the end none of it changed anything for me.
For other people, they may have a different kind of situation where the act in any form is uncomfortable due to either a personality quirk or in some a complete lack of empathy. Something that is blocking them from experiencing what is in effect a ‘really intense massage’ that some people crave. I’m not going to try and list all the various societal/personal/learned behaviors people have about sex across the globe which may play a part in their enjoyment/need/desire for sex.
Much like anything else, being asexual is a spectrum. It took me a very long time to figure out I was and that’s because I personally didn’t get any physical satisfaction out of sex, but I enjoyed the part where I made my partner absolutely melt with pleasure. Feeling romantic or emotional pleasure from sex is not uncommon, especially when coupled with someone who gets a ton of pleasure from it. That being said, I haven’t had sex in over a year, and from the way things look, I’m not going to for a very long time. I won’t say it’s voluntary though it’s definitely not because my partner doesn’t want to.
Oh interesting 🤔 from the people that I have a more in-deph conservation, I understood that sex wasn’t enjoyable for them because they felt really uncomfortable with it which resulted in a non-satisfying experience for the partner and in turn, generated a feeling of failure to be a good partner in them.
It is really interesting to hear different perspectives. Thanks for sharing and please anyone who wants to, share with me your thoughts and feelings on the matter!
I would assume that there are different ‘reasons’ that cause the broader feel of asexuality. Mine is a complete apathy for the want or need of it. I can enjoy making others feel good, such as giving them a massage in a normal way. I can feel that my work towards helping them feel good is rewarding in and of itself.
I figured out my side of things when after being with my partner for many years I was getting increasingly frustrated that while they were able to enjoy the experience for what seemed perpetual, my side of things remained the same, regardless of whatever was done. To feel the same for oral or penetrative felt like something was wrong to me so I started looking around st other types of options. I did whatever appealed to me but in the end none of it changed anything for me.
For other people, they may have a different kind of situation where the act in any form is uncomfortable due to either a personality quirk or in some a complete lack of empathy. Something that is blocking them from experiencing what is in effect a ‘really intense massage’ that some people crave. I’m not going to try and list all the various societal/personal/learned behaviors people have about sex across the globe which may play a part in their enjoyment/need/desire for sex.