I’ve smoked for a long time and I hate it. I have no illusions left about it. I generally look after my health pretty well, eat healthy, work out etc, and every time I have a cigarette I feel disgusted and like I’m slowly killing myself. It’s not so much the physical difficulties of withdrawal that I can’t handle - it’s more like smoking is ingrained in my identity, like I can’t conceive of myself as a non-smoker or going through life without having it as a crutch. I’m wondering if anyone has any advice on re-orienting psychologically towards being a non-smoker? I’ve managed to cut down a lot but I can’t seem to let myself give it up completely no matter how much I want to.
Do you always grab a cigarette because you want to satisfy a thirst or do you just do it absent-mindedly/out of habit?
If it’s the first one, then you could try replacing it with something else that does the same job but is healthier. I’ve tried for years to find something that fills my hole; tried alcohol, porn, medication, but what really satisfied me was tea. I can do a whole gong-fu session, keeping myself and my mind occupied for a while and I get some amazing tea as a reward for my work. It completely replaced my desire for any of those other, harmful things.
And if it’s the second one: Maybe you could use some little trick to keep you from grabbing your cigarette box. I used to be a really bad nail-biter (still am technically) and tried to stop it for years, but because I always did it unconsciously while watching movies, etc. I just couldn’t. The thing that helped me, what made me stop completely from 100 to 0, was simply to paint my nails. I was really surprised by how effective it was. I still hold my fingers to my mouth but I don’t chew on them anymore because nail polish just tastes bad and well… it’s also pretty toxic.
So maybe you could try something to stop your habit? Heck, maybe you could do the exact same and just coat every cigarette you have in nail polish and just not buy any new ones. Worth a try.