The “respect” and “you should be thankful” comments reminded me of that old (I think Tumblr) post:

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”.

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me, I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you like a person.”

and they think they’re being fair, but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.