well I have only myself and my view. I can just say what I think. I am sure there are many other. I am sure there are many tragedies over the world. I don’t have any effect on that. I cannot control that.

I don’t think there’s any advice here even other than just declaration of my experience.

What I am curious about though is how it differs and that’s why I present it and look for another and see how it all fits together in the grand scheme of things to better understand.

I am convinced that when I am anonymously honest on the web, I can sometimes grow or discover new things. That I add something valuable to myself and maybe someone else.

I am just built like this to never give up and I know that subconsciously. I thought that maybe it can be transplanted but it probably can’t as it isn’t learned but it was present since forever even through the worst and I look forward to any trials confident that they cannot crush me. There is nothing that can. This is how I function and live, this surety makes me able to fulfill basic functions and demands and prevents breaking even when my hands tremble from existential dread. I am still working to overcome it all but without this I would fail without even starting

I have my inspirations, like Ellen Ripley and Juliette Nichols, I want to have that courage and I will work for it