I trust you know this person well and that your experience is accurate.
However, you might find it useful to look up coping mechanisms in dealing with someone with OCPD. OCPD is extremely common and people with this personality disorder usually are extremely miserly and controlling. I’m not saying your person has this disorder. But from your story, the issues with money align closely enough that the tools people use in dealing with OCPD miserliness might help you. Or at the very least it might help you feel less alone in that experience.
I’m really sorry you are having to manage that and deal with this person. You sound like a very reasonable and empathetic person yourself. Please do something small and kind for yourself tomorrow. ❤️
I did some reading. It would be spot on if he wasn’t convinced that he was perfect and everyone else wasn’t.
No one is smarter than him. No one does it better than him. No one could even come close to comprehending his work. When he dies he feels sorry for anyone who has to work behind him and it will take teams of people to understand the genius of his work. Anyone who has a slightly different worldview than him is “thinking wrong”.
He isn’t obsessed with perfection. He is perfection. No lover could please a woman like him. No one is stronger or more capable. He has done the work of 500 men in one lifetime.
He prides himself on being the best, but not because he has anything to prove to anyone. He knows he’s the best. No one is better.
His father’s dying words were, “Please God. Let my son find some humility. Please. He’ll have no peace until he finds it.”
His father was a great man. An activist. A man who actually worked to change the world.
He wasn’t always that guy though. He had to learn some hard lessons to get there and his son suffered while he learned those lessons. He knew that. He took accountability for it.
I don’t know. I wouldn’t have made it without him in this life, but it was always a transaction. He doesn’t know how to do anything without it being a transaction. I’ve been trying to show him that it isn’t always about that. Every job we do, he tells me to keep track of my hours so he can pay me. I don’t want him to pay me. I want him to see that life can be something we experience and enjoy without it being a transaction.
I’m probably wasting my time, but I love my uncle irrationally and I don’t know why.
My body aches right now as I type this from driving a pick into slate to find some wires for him. It’s probably stupid, but a year from now when I still haven’t asked for a dime, maybe he’ll think about it. Or maybe he is who he is and he’ll think I’m an idiot.
I trust you know this person well and that your experience is accurate.
However, you might find it useful to look up coping mechanisms in dealing with someone with OCPD. OCPD is extremely common and people with this personality disorder usually are extremely miserly and controlling. I’m not saying your person has this disorder. But from your story, the issues with money align closely enough that the tools people use in dealing with OCPD miserliness might help you. Or at the very least it might help you feel less alone in that experience.
I’m really sorry you are having to manage that and deal with this person. You sound like a very reasonable and empathetic person yourself. Please do something small and kind for yourself tomorrow. ❤️
I did some reading. It would be spot on if he wasn’t convinced that he was perfect and everyone else wasn’t.
No one is smarter than him. No one does it better than him. No one could even come close to comprehending his work. When he dies he feels sorry for anyone who has to work behind him and it will take teams of people to understand the genius of his work. Anyone who has a slightly different worldview than him is “thinking wrong”.
He isn’t obsessed with perfection. He is perfection. No lover could please a woman like him. No one is stronger or more capable. He has done the work of 500 men in one lifetime.
He prides himself on being the best, but not because he has anything to prove to anyone. He knows he’s the best. No one is better.
His father’s dying words were, “Please God. Let my son find some humility. Please. He’ll have no peace until he finds it.”
His father was a great man. An activist. A man who actually worked to change the world.
He wasn’t always that guy though. He had to learn some hard lessons to get there and his son suffered while he learned those lessons. He knew that. He took accountability for it.
I don’t know. I wouldn’t have made it without him in this life, but it was always a transaction. He doesn’t know how to do anything without it being a transaction. I’ve been trying to show him that it isn’t always about that. Every job we do, he tells me to keep track of my hours so he can pay me. I don’t want him to pay me. I want him to see that life can be something we experience and enjoy without it being a transaction.
I’m probably wasting my time, but I love my uncle irrationally and I don’t know why.
My body aches right now as I type this from driving a pick into slate to find some wires for him. It’s probably stupid, but a year from now when I still haven’t asked for a dime, maybe he’ll think about it. Or maybe he is who he is and he’ll think I’m an idiot.