For me, it’s definitely trying to keep from moving too much/fidgeting. In my job, I have to sit still in front of another person for hours at a time, and I have to do my best to be grounded and present.
If I don’t take my meds, I am exhausted by the end f the day from this particular masking strategy. Some of the others I use, like slowing down my speech, take little effort after years of doing it.
I feel like all of my energy has to go somewhere, so I try to dance and move around during my breaks and before/after work.
What masking strategies take the most out of you?
Oh man… Definitely stopping myself from fidgeting, forcing eye contact, reducing the intensity of excitement/emotions, trying not to interrupt, and scripting… well, whole conversations, really. I actually never knew, until now, the reducing the intensity of excitement and emotional response was a common coping mechanism. That one has definitely caused some issues in my relationships.
For a long time, one of my biggest was keeping silent during conversations, but I’ve learned (with much help and patience from my wife!) to come out of my shell and speak up more.
Oh yes, most definitely is. I know I often tone done excitement via facial expression, tone of voice, body language, etc. And I’m still known as “the emotional one.”
It’s great that you have a supportive partner who helped you get out of your shell and speak up more during conversations. Women with ADHD tend to have pretty low self-esteem, and sometimes it takes someone else to see the good in is before we can see it ourselves. I’m sure you add a lot to the conversation!
I have a friend whom I used to be not so close with, mostly because I thought she didn’t like me. She seemed standoffish because she wouldn’t say much and would just look at me. Then, one night we went out for a happy hour and after some alcohol she confessed she had extreme social anxiety and didn’t know what to say but really wanted to be my friend. We are now much closer, and I would never have known had she not spoken up. Just a little anecdote on how I would want everyone to speak their truth.