Because this is Lemmy and we like anecdotes here, I have one for ya.

A couple years ago, during one of my many attempts to get fit, I went for a walk. At some point between my venturing forth and returning home, a wild turkey had come between me and my home.

I think it was female but I have no idea. The point here is, they’re pretty big in person, and I had to decide as I was walking toward it… if the turkey didn’t move? What if it charged me? What if it was aggressive, like a goose? I was stunned how unprepared I was to deal with this wild animal that I had apparently been living near for most of my life.

Anyways, long story short, I decided I could take a turkey in a fight. The turkey seemed to know that I had come to that decision, because as soon as I prepared myself to kick a turkey, it got out of my way.

The lesson here is, turkeys read minds, and as soon as you’re sure you can defeat the turkey, it will allow you to proceed unmolested.*

*Just my opinion. Don’t sue me if you lose a fight against a turkey. Also, if you lose a fight against a turkey, that just proves you didn’t believe in yourself hard enough.