• Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    It’s often the most common combination. In the real world, most people have preferences, but an openness to changing things up whenever they and their partner(s) feel like it. This need to label yourself and box yourself into specific slots is mostly a product of internet subcultures where finding your hyperspecific identity card becomes a fixation in and of itself. It’s the sort thing that comes out of knowledge without practical experience, if you catch my drift. Like fantasizing about what kind of chess player you would be without ever actually playing chess. Once you actually get out there and meet people like yourself (which, sadly, for many people is far easier said than done), you generally tend to broaden your sense of yourself and what you like or don’t like quite dramatically. And to be fair, sometimes it’s the other way round; you try everything and find out that are only a few bits you really like. But either way a willingness to be flexible is a really good starting point.