Why YSK: These email tips are helpful for people who struggle with boundaries and want to communicate more assertively.

  • deweydecibel@lemmy.world
    211·
    1 year ago

    Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it’s actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying “thanks for your patience” is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.

    There’s nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means “being a boss” then that explains why there’s so many sociopaths as CEOs.

    “Hope that make sense?” Vs “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    The latter is saying “here’s the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can’t”. The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It’s both a kindness and doing your due diligence.

    • Sanguine@lemmy.world
      6·
      1 year ago

      Seriously… and oftentimes just combining both works better. “Hey sorry I’m late, I appreciate you all being patient” or “Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up”

    • almar_quigley@lemmy.world
      2·
      1 year ago

      I’m so happy to see a sane comment at the top here. So many of these are just stupid and border on alpha male don’t take not shit or admit fault crap.

      • mars@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        2·
        1 year ago

        I think it goes the other way too. For people that tend to apologize too much, even when it’s not their fault, mixing in a “thanks for your patience” is a good way to balance it out a bit.

        • theneverfox@pawb.socialEnglish
          2·
          1 year ago

          I’m torn. I feel like admitting guilt and owning up to your failures is a virtue, but I’m not sure the rest of the world agrees with me

          Neurotypical enough to read body language, neurodivergent enough to never understand why

    • Pili@lemmygrad.ml
      2·
      1 year ago

      Yeah, there are some good ones and some terrible ones.

      Also reading the whole thing, it makes it sound like you should never apologize. I see it becoming real toxic real quick.

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
    92·
    1 year ago

    YSK, the person that embraces all of these, as written, is RIGHTFULLY perceived as an assholes by their peers.

    • SixTrickyBiscuits@lemmy.world
      1·
      1 year ago

      Some of them are great and can even make things less awkward for the other person. The “small error” one for example. The “I have an appointment” one is necessary when talking with higher ups in big companies who completely devalue your needs. But some are assholish, yeah.

  • Arotrios@kbin.social
    71·
    1 year ago

    My personal ones for corporate use:

    • Never use I when you can use we.

    • Even if you’re the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.

    • Don’t apologize, present solutions.

    • Don’t say “read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron”, say “As previously noted in our communications…”

    • interloper@lemmy.world
      1·
      1 year ago

      Yup, I just talk the way I want to talk.

      I talk with my own character, politely and everyone is happy.

      I don’t understand what businesses some people are working in that you’d need to be so careful with how you talk.

      I work for a global multi billion dollar company and never had issues, plus the higher ups don’t even talk like this in meetings unless it’s some official email or something.

      • Nora@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        1 year ago

        I work IT at a college, its pretty good here. Definitely not perfect, but people are pretty easy going where they don’t care about stuff like this.

  • Squiglet@lemmy.world
    4·
    1 year ago

    Its not that simple. Its ok to apologize sometimes. But not so apologize every fucking time like I do for every minor slide. Also I can see the usefulness to just make the shot call instead of staying 1h writing that message/email. Others are ok too.

    • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
      2·
      1 year ago

      I write emails for an hour sometimes. Some things you want to have in writing so you can point back to it later. I work in a government position and for a lot of the folks I deal with I need to be able to show I told them this on this date and the trail that goes along with it to be able to take action on what they did that they shouldn’t have or didn’t do that they should have. That hour on an email could prevent or shorten tons of meetings and headaches. Just depends on your job.

  • DebraBucket@lemmy.world
    3·
    1 year ago

    Some of these are great. “Could you do” takes the burden off the other person to propose something initially, and suggests respect for their time. “I will need to leave for” begs forgiveness rather than asks permissions, and since you are communicating it, it gives others the opportunity to correct your decision. These are examples of saving everyone time while still communicating them. Being too nice can be a time waste, like saying hello and then waiting for a response before asking your question.

    Some of these take away the autonomy of the other person though, and that’s shitty. “When can I expect an update?” is one of those. It would be better to express this in terms of what you need and why, like “I am reporting to X person at noon tomorrow on this, could you give me an update before then?”

    Of course, whether you say “just checking in” or “when can I expect…”, if you have no good reason (micromanaging is not a good reason) for checking in then you’re just being an asshole.

  • Tar_alcaran@lemmy.world
    3·
    1 year ago

    “It’d be easier to discuss in person” means “I don’t want a record of this because it’s either illegal or shows my incompetence”.

    Any meeting that they want to talk about in writing should ALWAYS be recorded.

  • Djangofett@lemmy.ca
    2·
    1 year ago

    I attach a goatse to my email communicationsz tonrrally drive home the point of urgency in the face of devastating consequences.

    Follow me for more productivity tips.

  • Helldiver_M@kbin.social
    2·
    1 year ago

    While most of these are a good rule of thumb, I disagree with ‘Always Happy to Help.’ > ‘No Problem.’

    ‘I’m Always Happy to Help’ is a fine response, if you’re actually willing to make your time available for the recipient at the drop of a hat. Sometimes that’s called for, but I would only reserve it for a few very specific circumstances. I also don’t see an issue with saying ‘no problem’ most of the time. There are situations where something a little more formal is called for, but 90% of the time ‘no problem’ should work imho.

  • keeslinp@programming.dev
    2·
    1 year ago

    The thank you for your patience one has always rubbed me wrong. There’s honor in apologizing in my opinion. I do like the making a mistake one though and I’ve tried to adopt that mentality when I’m working with QA on something I’ve merged. I want them to feel good about finding the mistakes and I want to avoid an adversarial relationship. I’ve learned that I get way better tickets from QA if they like how I treat them. Treat them like valuable experts and they’ll act like valuable experts.

    • varzaman@lemm.ee
      1·
      1 year ago

      I don’t like it, and will always apologize if it is my fault.

      Honestly, I think its terrible advice lol. This is the type of shit that makes people not like management.

    • Dnn@lemmy.world
      1·
      1 year ago

      The thank you for your patience one has always rubbed me wrong.

      I wouldn’t say wrong - it is disrespectful since I wasn’t patient by choice. You fucked up, you own it. But then I’m not a native speaker, maybe it just feels that way in my country.

  • ode@discuss.tchncs.de
    1·
    1 year ago

    Hi Shelley! How are you? I really hope you’re doing well. Shelley, we didn’t go to school together and you’re not my kris kringle, I’m at work and I need x. Ping me if you need anything. Also donuts in the kitchen.