- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
You must log in or # to comment.
We invented the flame thrower. I know George Carlin did the bit best but… Imagine explaining that to a group of aliens.
“You… you throw what now?”
“Flames, bro.”
“For what purpose…?”
“Well, We had these people called Nazis and they liked to hide in concrete fortifications so we figured the best way to make them not be in there would be to fill it with fire.”
“Does that not harm these ‘nazis’?”
“Oh yeah, it harms them. That was like, a bonus.”
“Well, It was nice meeting you. Goodbye forever.”
But wait! Let us tell you about the mustard gas!
“So we created these chemicals for wars…”
“Ah, killing the enemy efficiently!”
“Well, no.”
“So they knock them out temporarily?”
“Haha, not exactly…”
“Then they’re useless?”
“No. They just really mess them up. It goes into their body really easily and it’s super carcinogenic, permanently fucks their DNA up, basically eats their skin, probably causes them to go blind, and will make them mentally fucked up. But it takes hours for them to notice the effect.”
“…What the hell is wrong with you guys?”
And remember, somebody thought that wasn’t good enough. As evidence I present the existence of Sarin Gas
Or white phosphorus! Wait, wait… how about the inquisition? Or the rape of south america or the roman catholic church…
Damn, why does everybody leave?
King Leopold and the Belgian Congo.
… however, flamethrowers were fielded by the Germans first, and already in the previous World War.
Uh, you ought to read about what the British did in that war. They hid a bunch of massive, buried pop-up flame throwers in no-man’s land and used them to cook a bunch of Germans.
“Laughs in greek fire” - Greek sailors in 1200s
The human superpowers are basically throwing fastballs and jogging in hot weather. The ancestral hunting strategy is basically to throw stuff at the animals to get them to run, then jog after them. Repeat until the animal is too tired to move.
There are still humans who do this to this day, the most notable being the tarahumara tribes of South America. They will literally run down the local deer barefoot for their food.
Humans are insanely adapted to be endurance runners compared with the rest of the animal kingdom which, if you think about it, kind of makes sense. It takes a LOT less energy for a cheetah to sprint down an antelope in 3 minutes than to chase it for 3 hours, so they adapted to be great sprinters. Likewise, the antelope only has to outrun the cheetah for 3 minutes so they, too, became great sprinters. For small mammals it makes more sense to be able to run very fast and hide from predators than to run long distances in potentially dangerous territory.
Since there was no evolutionary incentive for animals to run marathons they never developed the biology to do so, and we see this not just in mammals, but in reptiles, too. Horses are an exception to this though as they, too, are well adapted to distance running although iirc their adaptations are more in the way of making it mechanically easy (long, strong legs, huge hearts, etc.) to run long distances rather than the cooling systems humans developed.
Humans just kind of lucked out or perhaps ended up filling an evolutionary niche due to our need to cover long ranges with scarce food sources in our early evolutionary development.
And here I am, a couch potato that can barely jog for over 90 seconds before feeling like i’m going to die.
Yet if you were to start walking today, and kept walking every day, in 6 months you’ll be able to jog half a mile, or a kilometer. There are literally humans out there that have gone from 600+ lbs, or about 275 Kg, to running and completing their first marathon in just over 18 months. That’s dangerously fast by the way.
Your body wants to move and stretch that’s why stretching feels so good. Master Sin Thé taught his Shaolin classes that if you get a good workout going as a youth, and you keep making it harder so you keep growing, that will keep you young and in shape till you are around 80, and will slow the decline of age after it finally starts.
Our endurance isn’t just for running. We are also one of the longest lived species on the planet, and we are about to use medical tech to become the longest living animals, I doubt we will be beating trees, sponges, and jellyfish for age any time soon
Edited to add: it’s pronounced like Sin Tay
The humans running down animals for hours also feel like that after a bit fyi. They are just hungry enough to keep running.
I have some friends who are into serious long distance running and they are constantly in a state of suffering while running. It’s the feeling of stopping running that makes them keep wanting to go running, not the feeling of the actual running.
That’s not true though. I used to run long distance all the time because I enjoyed running. It was really meditatitive. Plus if you run long enough you get a runners high, which is exactly what it sounds like.
I’m a distance runner, and I don’t know if you’ve captured running all that well tbh. I certainly don’t go out for my Sunday long run looking forward to the finish. It’s pretty enjoyable when you’re training, but I concede that racing is difficult and can turn into prolonged suffering.
That’s purely endorphin addiction, in the 80’s I had (for a short time till he got re-homed) a boss that was a true asshole motherfucking sonofabitch if he didn’t get his 6 miles in before he headed to work.
And yes, that IS how I got him
firedremoved, an emergency meeting between my department (which had to include him, the department head) over a virus infection (mid 1980s mind you) got him to be said “asshole motherfucking sonofabitch” to the C** people in the meeting.The fact that he had been “promoted” from head of QC to head of a 1980’s IT department and had once said in front of the entire department that he wanted to throw every PC in the company into the company pond had “nothing” to do with it. >
But that’s not it. We’ve also got the social aspect that brought us, as a species, to the apex to be able to hunt animals that could kill us easily individually, some of us have the balls to dominate those animals even alone, and the intelligence to develop novel tools to increase our capabilities and effective cross-generational communication to enable iterating these tools over many lifespans.
Through this, humans or our descendants might one day hunt apex predators on other planets that maybe are better joggers and throwers than we are.
"are you tired yet? you can rest you know. " human probably
Hey its me ur huntr. Jus checking to see if ur feeling tired yet.
I think the only reason we can keep running in hot weather (better than other animals) is because we’re resourceful enough to carry water
Actually it’s because we have sweat glands all over our bodies, which I think is unique among animals. Dog, for example, can only dump excess heat by heavier panting, whereas humans will just sweat more.
Some of us have more and more puissant sweat glands than others.
Additionally being bipedal means that as we run our breathing rate is separate from our gait. As four legged animals gallop the motion of their running expands and contracts their diaphragm, forcing them to breath at the same rate they run at.
Since they can’t sweat like us, or breath like us, they have to stop running and start panting in order to cool down.
While humans can just keep going, relentlessly, like the It Follows monster.
You just taught me a new word! Puissant!
The word was so fun I decided to make a new community where people can share fun words they just learned. Thank you!
So what’s the community? Don’t leave us hanging…
Haha, sorry! I didn’t share because as of now there is only the one post (about this word). Plus, I’m honestly unsure the best way to link a community so people can easily access it.
That said, it is ILearnedAWord
https://ttrpg.network/c/ilearnedaword
for people who just learned a neat word and might want to share it. Truthfully, I don’t super expect it to grow to be more than just me posting in there, but I think it would be a fun way to keep track of fun words I learn and a better way to learn words than a word of the day calendar. The lack of seeing words in use on those drives me nuts, cause the sample sentences are usually boring af.
Monkeys have both force and accuracy when pelting humans with feces.
This is just inaccurate.
It’s just a good rule of thumb to write off science memes as bullshit.
I’ve seen enough videos of chimps and gorillas throwing shit at people that I don’t want to test this claim.
I did read somewhere that our brains are really good at calculating where to throw to hit something in motion.
Granted you need practice to get good, but supposedly we are wired for it.
I just spent several seconds trying to figure out if “kobe” is some imaginary alien word I’m supposed to know from Star Trek or something.
You shout Yeet for power and Kobe (RIP) for accuracy
I always shout “Klaatu!” Instead of “Kobe!” because I do not understand what a Japanese city has to do with throwing
Yeah, most species take FOREVER to get the hang of projectile weapons and us big brained humans only took like 5.5 million years to perfect it! That’s practically no time at all!
The first wars were thought to be a bunch of people facing off and throwing rocks and sticks at each other. We’ve been throwing shit for as long as we could walk
If true, it’s probably because humans have mostly slow twitch muscle fibers (e.g., great for endurance and manual dexterity) while great apes are mostly fast twitch muscle fibers (good for raw strength). That’s why a chimpanzee, who is much smaller than a person, can perform feats pf strength that would embarrass most strong-man competitors. OTOH, humans evolved to run; the kind of long-distance running that some people do for fun would kill other primates.
Especially long distance running. Imagine a gazelle in prehistoric Africa running away from this weird ape until it is completely exhausted, just to turn around and see the weird ape still coming after it in the distance. We were the horror villains of prehistoric animals.
Well, the kind of long distance running that some people do for fun would definitely kill me
