I think the best way to find people you truly connect with is to pursue your interests.

I like sports and unconventional, strange people, so for the last decade I’ve been part of the roller derby and theatre communities in my city.

That said, any time you open up to anyone you’re risking heartbreak. That is always going to be the case. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth the risk in the end. I say that as someone who’s more than happy alone.

The only advice I can give is to ask yourself regularly if the people you are hanging around “suck”. Pay attention when being around a person drains your social battery more than normal, or when that person can’t seem to find common ground with you.

Surround yourself with people who support you, but don’t let people who get you down remain around you.

You may need to explain that you have some version of neurodiversity to new friends (Please, substitute “some version of neurodiversity” with necessary information about yourself that you feel comfortable in sharing) and that you have a limited social battery. Assure them it’s probably nothing personal; you just need to recharge. Explain that certain things or situations may drain your energy faster; or overwhelm you into having anxieties. Quickly cut out anyone who appears to be taking advantage of that.

Most importantly, be with people who have the same interests as you do. That breaks down more barriers than most things.