• Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    the idea of being in a mlm relationship made me unbearably dysphoric

    … huh. huh.

    Currently I’d describe myself as questioning, but I’ve known I’m bi for a few years. I don’t think I feel “unbearably dysphoric” over it but the idea of dating a guy hasn’t quite jived with me (not in a “I’m not romantically attracted to guys” way, I know I am). It doesn’t feel quite… right, but idk how to describe it really. I just thought it was internalized homophobia.

    • bready2die@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      This sounds very similar to my experience! For context, I’m a binary trans woman, and I (now) identify as bisexual! Before questioning my gender, I knew I was attracted to men but the idea of dating a man didn’t feel right, so I kinda gaslit myself into believing I was straight. With the power of hindsight I know that what actually didn’t feel right was the idea of being a man dating a man. The idea of being a woman dating a man, on the other hand, does feel right to me!

      I wish you the best of luck on your journey of self-discovery! It’s a long and arduous road but it’s so worth it!

      • oNevia@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPM
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        3 months ago

        Yeah … back in highschool before I questioned my gender I tried identifying as bi. Because I really liked being treated as a feminine partner. And the only way I could get that was with a man (so I thought) but could never actually see my self BEING in a mlm relationship. At all. So I stopped questioning my identity and gaslit myself into thinking I was straight as well.

        Wasn’t until my egg cracked that I was like “ohhhh that makes a lot more sense now”

      • Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        Yeah, honestly now that it’s in words I can see it. Guys dating guys is awesome cus guys are hot but I can’t really picture myself as one of them. Meanwhile I’ve felt weirdly jealous of lesbian relationships .-.

        Thanks for the help. I was already leaning towards “probably trans” but that’s defo another step in that direction.