Hi everyone.
When I try to follow a schedule to eat, clean my room and do my homework, it feels good at the beginning, but as time goes on, it just doesn’t feel good anymore.
I’m not even sure if I even feel trully happy about doing all of my responsibilities.
It doesn’t feel as if a burden has been lifted of my shoulder.
It doesn’t feel as if I were “refreshed” or more energetic after I do all of these.
I started slowly like my therapist recommended: I did a schedule to eat 3 times a day. It started rocky but then I manage to do it… but only for a while. Eating just didn’t feel good either.
Every single time I finally clean my room, I don’t feel any good: it just feels as though I wasted time because I don’t feel any better.
Doing math homework is fun, philosophy to, but I don’t like any of the other subjects I actually need to do homework for.
I know it might seem childish to only do things that feel good but I hate not being able to feel anything at all, especially when I do things that are supposed to help me but don’t make me feel anybetter afterwards.
Has someone here went through anything similar? What do you do then, if so?
Edit: I have read all of your replies so far, but I don’t know how to respond properly to them. All I can think of is to say thank you! I will try to change things (although slowly) today using your tips.
Yup, thts my experience as well. I definitely dont get my dopamine hit from having completed the tasks i set out to do. I find i get my reward and satisfaction from “inspiration” from just being out and about. Like walking to the shops for groceries or on my commute to work. The “inspiration” doesnt usually lead anywhere which is why i put it in quotation marks but the satisfaction i feel in that moment is very real.
So i look for my rewards in those moments and not in achieving the tasks themselves. For me theyre purely coping mechanisms because im not naturally able to conform to the current societal norms. I.e. coping mechanisms for executive dysfunction.