For me, the biggest hurdle was reconciling the changes I wanted to see in myself with the fear that they’d destroy the life I already had. I wanted to start HRT as soon as possible, but I was worried that developing visible breasts would cost me my job and my relationships with my family. I wanted to be referred to with different pronouns and a different name, but I was worried I would be “asking too much” of my friends, and demanding too much attention for myself. I wanted to fet rid of all my body hair, but I was afraid people would react negatively to me when we go out swimming, etc.

I found that I was making bigger deals out of these things than they really were. I am extremely fortunate to be surrounded by people who love me, and so the fear of rejection was really something I was just generating in a vacuum. I still have a job I love, and nobody treats me differently with a more feminine appearance and bra lines under my shirt lol. My friends were immediately accepting of my identity, and more than happy to call me whatever I wanted. And truly, nobody gives a fuck how much body hair I have when I go swimming haha.

These fears were things I just had to tackle one at a time to overcome, and it was really hard for me. In the end though, I am so much happier having pushed through them to live as myself, finally.