I was a bit taken aback when almost every character in my camp was quick to jump my bones very early on, this explains it.
I can’t unlock the Withers romance arch no matter how hard I don’t try.
The green lizard lady hitting on me was a bit much. Meanwhile the cute cleric girl is a little too into her little goddess to talk to me.
Its like highschool all over again
can they release a bugfix for real life too?
I’ve always wanted to fuck a bear
*Hexbear, watch out
Somewhere at Larian code review: “Whaddya mean hot_for_anal doesn’t control the horizon of threshold for analysis. What else could it… Oh. Ooooh…”
Spoilers ahead, be warned!
The strangest thing by far for me was whenever I went to sleep and this shirtless mindflayer tried to bang me. What the actual fuck was that? I have 0 indication that I was even into you.
I went for the tentacle sex on my evil character (just finished first run!). Totally did not expect what happened to happen but just rolled with it haha.
I had that happen last night and I’m still not ok. My poor tiefling is definitely not going to sleep anytime soon.
Subconsciously maybe? 😂
Lol maybe dude is literally just like “I showed you my house, pls respon” like bruh I don’t trust you at all
“I’ve been watching you disguised this whole time, pls be mine”
Haha, explore his home and learn about his favourite soup and the next thing you know, you’re lying on a rock next to him and he’s shirtless. Like dude. Maybe that’s why he’s so insistent on having you turn into a mindflayer, needs some tentacle loving.
60 hours from now, just before the final battle
Oh you sweet summer child…
Gamers be liek: “It’s not a bug, it’s a cool feature!”
and yet Scratch has never once propositioned me
He’s a good boy, not a naughty one.
onthulling
However if you find the jar of peanut butter in Moonrise tower kitchen… nope this feels wrong, sorry all
My favorite part was when the kissing speedo guys kept spawning endlessly.
due to a bug
*a worm
A tadpole, if you will
I always wondered why Lae’zel wanted to bang, and we never talked much before the Grove. I’m a Shadowheart simp, though, so I turned down the Battle-sex.
I experienced the wonky romance implementation both ways. Some, like Lae’zel and (especially) Halsin went from 0-100 in the blink of an eye, which was very annoying.
However, I also got permanently friendzoned by Karlach, Wyll and Astarion because I didn’t take enough Long Rests in Act 1, so important character moments with those three never happened for me. I’ve heard Wyll invites you to dance, but I never got that, nor the night time creeping from Astarion. These moments seem to be required, because I’ve been locked out of all relationship progression with those three characters. I’m at the end of Act 3 now and they’ve not had much to say since the start of Act 2 . Hopefully this has or will be fixed, though.
EDIT: clearer wording.
Lae’zel was just like,
“You smell like battle. I can smell the blood and sweat all over you. I saw you massacre those goblin children and tear their heads off. I want you to fuck me here and now.”
Mine was like that, only she had already fucked me beforehand, so she was like “go fuck someone else tonight, but DON’T WASH, I’M INTO THAT SHIT”
If you are not in act 3 yet, go back to act 1 and spam partial rests, most of the events that you skipped will happen.
I was at the door of the final fight as I wrote the comment and finished the game later that day.
This must have been the only bug I didn’t have. Only Lae’zel and Minthara were super thirsty without having to do anything but play the game (and even then it kinda fit the character for both considering what triggers the encounter). Wyll’s also kinda happened but that one you did have to want it pretty bad to get it, even if it was easy. Otherwise it’s just an awkward moment when you catch him dancing.
Everyone else? It’s like nobody wanna ride the dragon dick. 🤷🏻♂️
In my case that moment was made somewhat more awkward by a bug causing his camp clothes to disappear so that he was just dancing around naked 😳 😂
On the plus side, it made me laugh out loud when Wyll suddenly appeared naked and doing a somewhat goofy walk in the background while one of the other characters was telling me something serious 😅
Bug? Or undocumented feature?
Probably an easter egg
The only one who has flirted like crazy with me was Astarion. Maybe he’s really into bright orange dragonborn.
I never even got him in my party… why would I trust a guy who tries to jump me first chance he got?
Aw you are missing out, he’s the most fun character IMO and his VA absolutely kills it.
I had the complete opposite experience, yes his VA does an incredible job, but I can’t stand the character himself, personally.
Seriously. I purposely closed out Act I without even interacting with him in the first place. I played dozens of hours throughout the beta, and was so sick of his bullshit by the release date. Fuck Astarion.
Fuck Astarion
I’m trying, but the mean video game developer people are trying to destroy our love
What’s his name, Trump?
