when i was a child, i had a tendency to extremely hyper fixate on various topics for months, so now that i’m older it just feels like i’ve experienced everything even though I technically haven’t. the fixations are becoming much more quick in terms of cycles / how long they (don’t) last and i spend most of my time feeling bored and empty, just rotting away and feeling entertained by nothing. lately this has caused me to get really stuck in the past, so i spend a lot of time just laying in bed crate digging my own memories and feeling kind of depressed because i have nothing new to be excited by or interested in. it does not help that i don’t really have any long term goals or ambitions either, i just kind of exist.
does anyone else feel like this?
It was explained to me that my drive was primarily based on my bipolar disorder. Since that is now gone I have to develop an alternative to stay motivated. I’ve been told to take it slow, day by day and work up to doing bigger and bigger things. I don’t think I’ll ever be a workaholic again. My life is simple and I get a little more productive everyday without burnout.
Thanks. Doc and I had a conversation about it just recently. He’s closing shop which means I’m back to shuffling record releases that go many moves and a decade plus long. There’s a quality of life that I’ve come to appreciate; it can get expensive finding a doctor that shares the same viewpoint.