I get it, i’m only 14 years away from it. The first 14 felt a lot longer than the last 14 up until today.
I don’t really know how to explain my reasoning, i think i’m just done and i’ve been done for a long time.
From my perspective i’ve given all i had to give and apparently it’s been the opposite of what i had to do.
I promised the wife i wouldn’t step out and that’s basically why i’m around today. I like to think i’m here for her, but i basically pay the bills and help her with information on how to reach the next step on the ladder of her plans. But tbh i could give so much more if i wasn’t the way i am, i’m always looking for something to silence the constant noise and it usually involves spending money on things that keep me busy while that money could be used to help her buy the things that make her progress faster.
I’ve tried getting help, but i have this thing where i keep shutting down at the worst possible time and instead of pushing through the help i contacted basically pulled out and pushed me away. I gave up looking for answers.
I don’t mean to intrude or push in any way, but your story sounds familiar and I found Running on empty to be an interesting read, if you ever feel inclined.
This might not be helpful, in that case sorry, but the idea that came to my mind first was:
Do something every day that’s a little uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone that helps your own progress. Do it every day, even if just a little bit, like study or work out or some bit of work on a personal project. If you do it every day you can build up to something.
I had a boss who was older but studying for her masters, and was lamenting it was discouraging being the oldest person in the class doing it. The prof told her “well, you’ll either turn 50 with the masters degree or without it, which do you prefer?”
Doing something out of my comfort zone has been my baseline for the past 12 years.
I don’t believe it’ll build to something tho. I’ve been trying to build airbrushing, 3d printing and fusion360 into something for the past 15 years…where 3d printing came in 5 years ago.
If i managed to pull this off like 7 years ago or something along that time i might have found some success, but i feel like i need another 12 years before i reach the point of being knowledgable anough.
I get it, i’m only 14 years away from it. The first 14 felt a lot longer than the last 14 up until today.
I don’t really know how to explain my reasoning, i think i’m just done and i’ve been done for a long time.
From my perspective i’ve given all i had to give and apparently it’s been the opposite of what i had to do.
I promised the wife i wouldn’t step out and that’s basically why i’m around today. I like to think i’m here for her, but i basically pay the bills and help her with information on how to reach the next step on the ladder of her plans. But tbh i could give so much more if i wasn’t the way i am, i’m always looking for something to silence the constant noise and it usually involves spending money on things that keep me busy while that money could be used to help her buy the things that make her progress faster.
I’ve tried getting help, but i have this thing where i keep shutting down at the worst possible time and instead of pushing through the help i contacted basically pulled out and pushed me away. I gave up looking for answers.
I don’t mean to intrude or push in any way, but your story sounds familiar and I found Running on empty to be an interesting read, if you ever feel inclined.
Good luck.
I might get that book, that’s the only chance of me finishing it if i can keep my curiosity for it alive.
This might not be helpful, in that case sorry, but the idea that came to my mind first was:
Do something every day that’s a little uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone that helps your own progress. Do it every day, even if just a little bit, like study or work out or some bit of work on a personal project. If you do it every day you can build up to something.
I had a boss who was older but studying for her masters, and was lamenting it was discouraging being the oldest person in the class doing it. The prof told her “well, you’ll either turn 50 with the masters degree or without it, which do you prefer?”
Doing something out of my comfort zone has been my baseline for the past 12 years.
I don’t believe it’ll build to something tho. I’ve been trying to build airbrushing, 3d printing and fusion360 into something for the past 15 years…where 3d printing came in 5 years ago.
If i managed to pull this off like 7 years ago or something along that time i might have found some success, but i feel like i need another 12 years before i reach the point of being knowledgable anough.
Wow sounds like a cool niche and activity!
Only a niche if you let it become one, 3d printing is one of the most versatile things you could do.