i get what you’re trying to say, we want to respect people’s gender identities and often how someone presents (not how/if they pass) is how they identify. like if you weren’t nonbinary you might work out to get a “masculine” torso shape. but not always, it’s a yardstick that relies on how people are conforming to problematic social definitions of gender
There is nothing lacking in someone who is presenting but does not pass. They are still the vanguard against gender oppression and braver than the troops. We are all a process of becoming, and when trans people present they make it abundantly clear what they’re moving towards and should be unanimously considered as.
What I was leading towards is that gender as a model should be based on a coherent set of characteristics; otherwise, there isn’t much point in having it at all. I think it’s also important to be able to call out right-wing grifters who adopt the concept of gender transition as a joke and others who do it in bad faith, by contrasting them with trans people who have lived with distinctive masculine or feminine brains for most of their lives and experienced the friction that comes with that.
As for myself I don’t insist on a certain set of pronouns unless people demonstrate that they’re not certain by asking. Online is different because no one has an “appearance”. But in-person, I feel like the mental energy for remembering a person’s specific gender is better used on someone who actually experiences dysphoria than it is on me.
i get what you’re trying to say, we want to respect people’s gender identities and often how someone presents (not how/if they pass) is how they identify. like if you weren’t nonbinary you might work out to get a “masculine” torso shape. but not always, it’s a yardstick that relies on how people are conforming to problematic social definitions of gender
There is nothing lacking in someone who is presenting but does not pass. They are still the vanguard against gender oppression and braver than the troops. We are all a process of becoming, and when trans people present they make it abundantly clear what they’re moving towards and should be unanimously considered as.
What I was leading towards is that gender as a model should be based on a coherent set of characteristics; otherwise, there isn’t much point in having it at all. I think it’s also important to be able to call out right-wing grifters who adopt the concept of gender transition as a joke and others who do it in bad faith, by contrasting them with trans people who have lived with distinctive masculine or feminine brains for most of their lives and experienced the friction that comes with that.
As for myself I don’t insist on a certain set of pronouns unless people demonstrate that they’re not certain by asking. Online is different because no one has an “appearance”. But in-person, I feel like the mental energy for remembering a person’s specific gender is better used on someone who actually experiences dysphoria than it is on me.