Very sadly same. I have struggled so hard to maintain friendships and family connections throughout my life and am fortunate to have finally found some friends who are patient and persistent enough to basically force me to keep in touch with them, but don’t take it personally if I vanish for 6 months without a word. I’m just much happier on my own with my cats, plants, hobbies, and partner and don’t even actually remember other people exist a lot of the time.
That I may be autistic. Literally had a friend of 10+ years who works with nonverbal pre-K kiddies with autism say to me “You know you’re autistic, right?” So I started taking some tests online and reading some books and stuff, and dang, that would make a lot of sense. Not sure if I want to try and seek an official diagnosis as it is apparently pretty difficult to access in my area. But as an AFAB elder millennial who has struggled my entire life with making friends, interacting socially, and progressing in careers it is really freaking interesting to maybe finally have a reason for that.
ETA that I have spoken to my therapist about this at length and she has casually agreed that I may meet a lot of the criteria and we are spending a lot of time breaking this all down. I’m very fortunate to have the access to mental healthcare that I do have.
Hail yourself! I was just scrolling back to see if anyone had met any of the boys. I am sad I haven’t met any of them yet. Seems like all of them would be excellent folks to get a beer and talk about weird shit with. It’s strange how parasocial relationships work. I’ve been listening to them twice a week for 8 years and feel like they’re my friends.
I am so jealous. If I could meet one person in the world it would be Dolly. She is my absolute hero. I don’t even think I’d be able to speak, I would just start crying.
Spoiler, that link is appalling and managed to pop up a bunch of weird shit on my phone despite all my blockers.
At the time I used to see him regularly he wore the same pair of disgusting filthy grey sweatpants every day and was rude and condescending as all hell. Pretty sure he was probably going through a rough period in life but that doesn’t give anyone a pass to be an asshole.
Believe it or not, most of the big actors and stuff I met while I was working at various big retailers in Union Square, like Circuit City (rip), Barnes and Noble, and the Virgin mega store. There are absolutely a ton more that I did not list and probably more that I have forgotten lmao. Taye Diggs (very nice, seemed shy), James Iha (super friendly and excited to meet fans), Natasha Lyonne (messy drunk), David Sedaris (nice, smells good), Elaine Aberlin (Lady Elaine from Mr. Rogers, over the moon to meet someone who recognized her as an adult, gave me lots of hugs, hard to end the conversation with haha), lots more.
I’ve always been low key and friendly when interacting with celebs, especially when seeing them while they’re just going about their business. I don’t think they’re more valuable or interesting than other people and I think most of the time that is a welcome break.
I’ve also gone to tons and tons and tons of concerts throughout my life, many while volunteering or doing activism work, and I have met a kajillion bands and performers like that. Lots of people who started out small and later made it big.
I actually met Joan Jett at a county fair, and when I saw her play again a couple months later she recognized me (and then I saw her play again like 12+ times and eventually started just bumping into her because apparently we have similar interests and hung out in similar places lol). I highly recommend going to see her at every and any opportunity. She puts on an incredible live show that feels like a party and is a super sweet and wholesome person.
It’s weird, right? As long as I am being a helper I can do anything. I think this is a pretty big clue that we should value ourselves as much as we do our friends!
I lived and worked in New York and met a ton of celebrities/big names there. James Gandolfini was really nice. Bjork was not particularly nice. Tori Amos is one of the sweetest, most open and genuine people I’ve ever met. Ethan Hawke was a gross dick. Rik Okasek smells bad but is nice. I got shitcanned with Claude Coleman, my favorite drummer. My favorite celeb I have ever met though is Joan Jett, who I have met many times and is absolutely the best. It was super funny the one time I was just hanging out randomly on the street with a group of friends and this short little muscular blond lady rushed up to me, gave me a hard hug, and rushed away and I got to be like, “Oh, that was just Joan Jett” to my friends.
I spend 9-12 hours a day working on a computer listening to audio on headphones. I am so glad my workplace decided to go fully and permanently remote. I can’t imagine a situation where me being in an office would improve my work performance in any way.
However, my partner hates working from home and desperately missed having an office to go to during the pandemic. His company closed their office as well, so now he just meets up with his boss a few times a week to work at a cafe or something. I wouldn’t mind that but I have a ton of peripherals I need to use in addition to my computer and the couple times I’ve tried it has been more irritating than anything else to lug everything around and spend 15 minutes setting everything up.
I really like this take and love it when I come across it in media.
It’s not so much about offending someone (and yes, people absolutely do sometimes get aggressively upset about it) and more about attempting to change my own mental habits. I believe like race, sexual orientation, and politics, gender is a personal topic that doesn’t really need to enter into a casual, never to be repeated interaction between two people. You don’t say “excuse me, old person,” based on your perceptions of another’s appearance. Why is gender any different? It certainly isn’t an objective concept or one that can be readily or factually assumed. It’s outmoded and unnecessary.
Also, as I commented earlier, if I am using what I mean to be a term of respect to make someone else feel confident and comfortable, and through my language I risk doing the opposite, why would I want to do that if it’s something I can personally change?
I mean, I don’t think people being happy in self directed work from a comfortable environment free from the scrutiny and drama of coworkers really says anything at all about “what has the world come to.” If I want to socialize, I do that outside of my work hours, and my work is far more productive and enjoyable without the constant interference and distraction of either coworkers or the general public. My experience with my past workplaces are my own, and I am far happier and have a much better quality of life without forcible socialization with people I would under no other circumstances outside of prison or a mass transport breakdown spend most of my waking hours around.
I am genuinely quite happy with my life. I have friends, family, a longterm partner, pets, a career that I love (that I believe does a genuine service to my fellow humans), money in the bank, and rewarding hobbies. I highly value my free time and like to use it how I see fit, instead of trying to wedge myself into social situations I don’t find enjoyable or fulfilling. If that makes me a hermit, I am totally fine with that.
(Also just saying you may find a higher than average number of people who are introverted or value alone time posting on a relatively niche social media site with barriers to entry that require at least some level of computer savvy).
Fair enough! I do use it pretty frequently. I would really like it if someone said that to me, so maybe it isn’t as impolite as I perceive it. Thanks.
Very fortunately, I now work from home in a job with basically zero interaction with anyone at all (it’s great) so this mostly applies to casual social interactions at say, a grocery store. I have to say though, using your suggestion in this context is actually hilarious and would be super gratifying.
Thanks for engaging in productive discussion! And yes, I fully realize that in almost all but very specific and relatively easily identifiable cases, misgendering is something that happens accidentally and is not intended to be injurious. But for anyone who does not identify with their gender assigned at birth, it really does feel super bad.
I love that you also seem to have the same regard for social politness as I do. I feel like as someone who wants to use terms of respect to make others feel confident and comfortable, the possibility that I may accidentally do the very opposite of that is something that makes me want to try and better the way I interact.
Eh, it costs me nothing and actually helps me with a personal goal I have to not make assumptions about someone’s identity based on what I perceive. As someone who has been misgendered many times in the past, it truly hurts, and while that may be a personal problem, I don’t really love going around potentially causing others to feel hurt in any way.
I don’t think it is univerally okay to make assumptions about someone’s personal identity before you know it. I am happy calling someone sir or ma’am after I know their gender identity. But in a casual interaction between strangers, there is no need for it at all and it is just an ingrained and outdated social convention that I personally am striving to move past.
This is great and something I also strive for. I find often that I gravitate towards other neurodiverse folks, and knowing that someone else is having difficulty navigating a given situation often makes me feel like not only that I can step up and help them, but that I want to do so. I wouldn’t if it was just me, but I will always order coffee for my BFF rather than making her have a social interaction I know she is worried about. I’ll also happily make phone calls to doctors or to set appointments for friends and I would rather die on the floor than do it for myself. This might be a clue to ways around my social anxiety, if I could learn to treat myself as a friend who needs help.
My partner finally finally got his driver’s license back after having a seizure in December, so we spent yesterday driving around to all the different nurseries for me to look for monsteras. No luck, but I did find a tillandsia the size of a baby’s head so that was neat.
I’ve been trying to put out of my mind the fact that I just learned that a close family member has lymphoma. They’re young and in exceptionally good health otherwise (and the remission rate is already good for the specific type) so I am trying to hold onto hope that this will just be a bad memory in a few months. But it still sucks and I hate to think of them isolated and in pain.