Elysium [he/him, any]

Being a landlord is just about the last accessible route available to people to move from worker to capitalist. It’s being squeezed though by the bigger capitalist and soon, probably, it’ll be totally just like all other commodities and exist only within the realm of giant corporations, hedge funds and such.

Not that this justifies being a landlord. Just an observation of why they all lose their absolute shit when called out on their parasitic behavior (which they often project onto their victims).

Also, as one of those lucky, privileged few who are under 40 and own a house (“own” feels weird because there’s a loan involved, but, that’s the word!) I can’t help but chime in on this topic since I actually know they’re full of shit.

Everyone loves real numbers, so, here’s some real numbers. I’ll round just for readability.

My monthly mortgage which includes my home loan, home insurance, and property taxes is $900. Sewer/trash, which SOME landlords pay (probably only because the city/townships would eat their asses if they didn’t pay somehow so they make sure it gets handled), adds another $67-ish a month.

“BUT THE DISASTERS AND IMPROVEMENTS!” I can hear the landlords crying from far off.

I’ve had two of the “worst”, I suppose, replacement scenarios already come my way. Had to install a new HVAC system and a new sewer line. Oh the joys of learning that, somehow, the pipe that flows your shit out is your problem when it stops flowing so good.

Long story short, the HVAC full install and all the stuff was about $14K. The sewer (which involved a lot of digging! Which isn’t cheap apparently) was like $20K all said. These two projects of necessity were done within months of each other. I was very sad. But you handle this shit pretty easily in the US… just take more debt!

It’s worth noting HVAC systems generally are expected to last minimum of 10 years but not much more than 15 and MAYBE 20 if you get lucky + take care of all of it perfectly. So I expect that $10K to pay for 15 years in my mind. Sewer lines can vary depending on type of construction and unforeseen events (no trees near my line though so roots won’t get me). I had a technique called “pipe bursting” done where, tdlr, new pipe is quite literally forced via high pressure inside the old pipe underground causing the old pipe to basically “burst” around it and you end up with new pipe without digging nearly as much. It’s pretty cool. The dudes doing the work, who I trust more than salesman and owners, said it’s supposed to last like 50 years same as the old stuff. So I mentally drag that massive expense over a time probably longer than my life will be.

So adding those massive but rare things to my payments and factoring in how long they’ll last, etc. I’d say the HVAC is about an extra $100/month and sewer line is about $40.

And of course there will be things like the roof needing replaced, appliances, etc. I’m around $1200 in “real costs” calculations but I could have fun and lump on more. Make it $2000 a month which is, coincidentally, approximately the cost to rent a house like mine near me. Note: it does not cost me that much! I just added $800 of hypothetical but not real bullshit. Some of it could be legit, but $800/month worth? No.

Oh, also, two more things. Inflation generally benefits homeowners. My mortgage will always have the same payment based on the principle + interest. Taxes go up, insurance goes up. But those two are insignificant in relation to the loan and interest payments. So, over time, especially when talking about decades and eventually outright owning the home(!) it gets CHEAPER, relatively, to own the house! Something landlords often neglect to mention.

Just to explain this with numbers:

My approximate “full cost” per month is $1200. From year 2000 until now (23.5 years approximately) that inflation has been 77.5%. Which means, doodoodoo compute the figures… $1200 in 2000 is equivalent to $2130 now. Hmm. And inflation has been a predictable factor over the last century or so. Will it continue to make owning so appealing? Maybe. Maybe not. It kinda has to though if the capitalists expect to keep this system going. It’s baked into the equation.

I don’t remember my other point, but, here’s a different one. Homeownership allows communities to exist. Real ones. Renting destroys in the same way. Intended or not, and I’d personally say it was unintentional but highly beneficial for capitalists, it results in more alienation from one another as humans, degradation of all social interactions, and thus the cycle feeds itself as communities don’t exist to fight capital. People only live somewhere for a year or two- what do they care about a nearby river? Liberals would love to lay blame on renters: “JUST BUY A HOUSE!” Without accepting the reality that people simply can’t.

I rented for 15 years. It fucking sucks. It SUCKS. All I wanted for the last 1/3 or so of that 15 was to not owe money monthly to my asshole landlord and his wife who would both come over every month to “catch up on things.” But really he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t smearing shit on his precious white walls. It wasn’t such a big deal, but as a full-ass grown-ass man, having another grown-ass adult come make sure I made my bed and didn’t take an axe to the bathroom (yet) was an untenable (un-tenantable? Heh) situation and not the first one I had been in.

So, alllllllll that shit said, my only remaining points are: fuck landlords, get real jobs. And also, we should have publicly available, adequate to the population, free, high quality housing. Literally just build and give people houses. Not me. I don’t expect a free fucking house. I already have one! It’s absurdly gross to me to see the wastefulness of this country and the GREED from people. People would rather send bombs to other countries than build free houses to ensure their neighbors have security in their lives. I don’t want to live in a world where homelessness is “a necessity.” I don’t even want to live in a world where landlords are allowed to exist. I just fucking hate these parasites so much and how much they have to explain and explain and explain to justify in their minds their continued existence. There is no justification, and if there is any divine retribution in another life or world, these people will find plenty coming their way. I’d also gladly like to see that retribution received in this life as well.

Alright.

Where do I sign up as officially gay?