narrator: Nothing was done about it

The cheaper side is a VPN and a pirate’s life for me.

I mean, she could pull a Trump and be like, “I have really big plans. I can’t discuss them until I’m in office, but let me tell you… Big plans.”

GM should just be like, “We’re just making sure no one is trying to get an abortion.” That’ll shut Texas up.

Maybe I should ask OP who it is they’re saying is confidently incorrect? I originally thought that they were saying Oliver was incorrect, but your response makes me wonder if they meant the Trump campaign response was incorrect.

Basically, I just want clarification.

Can someone explain what part he’s incorrect about? (Since we’re in ConfidentlyIncorrect)

Easy enough to get around for everyone then. Are you male to female trans? You’re not getting a vagina, you’re getting a penis reduction.

And over there. And a couple more over there. And one there too.

You should start responding with “You’re welcome”. Because if Jesus hadn’t died for their sins, they wouldn’t be Christian.

Just replace the pronouns.

“Hi. Steve was wondering if Steve could go ahead and start Steve’s next project since Steve’s current project is now in review? Steve would be working with Kevin on Steve’s next project and Steve knows that Kevin is wrapping up Kevin’s project this week so Steve and Kevin could start next week”

Doesn’t that sound so much more professional? 🙄

Ok, hear me out… Train station in the shape of a bald eagle with the covered track area leading out shaped like a gun penis for the eagle. The engine is shaped like a bullet, and the cars all have flames down the sides so it goes extra fast.

Hey, you’re right! I’m worth -$248,657.36 (yes, that’s a negative sign). Am not rich at all.

So if I have a pot on my back porch and I grow some basil in it, does that make me a farmer? Can I start shooting the delivery drivers who are bringing packages to my door?

Sounds like an easy claim that they didn’t deliver the package.

And offer them that sweet fresh-out-of-college salary

So if I jerk off on the firehouse steps can I claim I’m just using the Safe Harbor law?

“Yeet” (because, you know, it’s a throw pillow)

They’ll increase hourly wages by $0.50/hour. … And decrease employee hours to 10 hours/week.

I have, for a long time, used the phrase “speaking of segues” to change the subject in a conversation.

Technically tips were originally given upfront to ensure good service, not after the fact.