I love space phenomenon in the same way as some people like scary movies, games, and environments. I feel a strong sense of dread and fear at the thought of black holes, white dwarfs, and neutron stars. It’s less about what you can see, and more about what you can’t.
It’s so bad that the most anxious and scared I’ve been in my life was on one of my first times using the FSD boost in the game Elite: Dangerous. In the game you can get boost to your ships travel by sucking up the streaming jets jutting out from white dwarfs and neutron stars. This boost can let you travel over 100ly, when average is 30ly or so. The process to do this, if done incorrectly however, can result in getting ripped out of cruising, stick, and unable to get away from these very disorienting beams before getting absolutely shredded. I have experienced nothing like it before or since.
To this day, neutron stars are both my favorite and most anxiety inducing universal phenomena! Slaughter House 5 is a really good book involving a neutron star, for those who haven’t read it.
Right? It’s like COVID laid bare all the injustices and bullshit of our society and social structures and all but destroyed any motivation to accomplish anything that I had. Things just seemed pointless cause the old myths are fucking lies and I’m tired of killing myself for others during the prime years of my life.
What do you do when your apathy is due, in part, to the world being a cesspool where a few have the most? It really sucks.