first of all, there are people that relate to you, and cherish you and love you. i was quite happy to see that most people here were supportive of you and overcoming this bad moment on your life (because that’s what it is, a moment. it won’t last forever). you have value in yourself and there’s no greater justification in living than knowing that you deserve to live and be who you are simply because you exist, and you are, period. you yourself amount to many important things and if people don’t value you for who you are, screw them, who weren’t able to cherish that beautiful complexity on yourself.
that being said, you need help. and the first thing to tackle is, like others have said, overcoming your addiction. there are several ways of getting help on this: many community centers, even in the united states, keep narcotics anonymous groups on their premises. serious groups will have a way with providing you with medical assistance, which will be needed;
- if, and only if, you are comfortable with going to a place of worship, they often receive meetings of n.a. groups, and serious priests, pastors, rabbis, imams, nuns and monks can give you some direction on where to find help without asking anything in exchange. stay away from sects such as scientology;
- from there, you can get the psychological and psychiatric help that you need to better cope with the adhd, being able to live with it and improve your learning and social skills;
- social services can help you find a job, qualification and help you if there’s any trouble;
- take advantage of everything that’s free in order to better yourself, such as courses and books that are available at your local libraries;
- and most importantly, a day at a time. you will find some difficulties, especially with divesting your old ways, but stand for yourself first and foremostly. some days will be harder than others. learn to forgive yourself and others for things that did not went right, but you don’t have to accept anyone back into your life if they didn’t changed their ways that have hurt you so much. here and there you will take falls, but find the strength to start over, and over, and over. you’re not perfect, but that’s ok! who is, anyway?
miami. orlando (i.e. disney world and universal). las vegas. dubai. any other middle-to-upper class playground.
on the other hand, so people cannot say i mentioned anywhere in the center of capitalism: i’d love to meet ireland, scotland, brittany, galiza. the museums in new york, london, madrid, barcelona and paris are indeed something to see. the historic buildings and excavations in rome are of interest. and restaurant, café and bar-trotting in madrid, valencia, barcelona, paris, vienna, amsterdam, rome, naples, tokyo is something i’d love to do.