Don’t forget your socks and sandals, your SAD happy lamp, knowledge of Ezell’s lore, and oh right, drink your coffee at Starbucks even though you pretend to be anti-corpoate.
Finally: You must hit yourself in the head with a brick untill the knowledge of how to safely drive in the rain has left your mind.
Don’t increase your following distance, keep using bald tires, merge even more abrutly and erratically, and actually turn off your headlights that you normally have on full blast at all other times.
Bonus:
Complain about how the summers are too cloudy and cold, call I5 ‘the 5’, and act surprised when people already know you’re actually from California.
Next 10% is saying “I make $300k creating internal systems for streamlining data aggregation for business needs. Dang I love this city, it just needs another glass building- that theater/ historic landmark/ orphanage could totally be bulldozed”
And then drive 30 MPH in a 50, completely oblivious to the mile long line of cars behind you. Bonus points if you can be sure only a single car gets through a left hand turn light.
Damn, maybe I was secretly born in Seattle and smuggled to the other side of the country.
Better buy yourself a Subaru, a North face jacket, a climbing gym membership, and some weed and Zoloft.
Don’t forget your socks and sandals, your SAD happy lamp, knowledge of Ezell’s lore, and oh right, drink your coffee at Starbucks even though you pretend to be anti-corpoate.
Finally: You must hit yourself in the head with a brick untill the knowledge of how to safely drive in the rain has left your mind.
Don’t increase your following distance, keep using bald tires, merge even more abrutly and erratically, and actually turn off your headlights that you normally have on full blast at all other times.
Bonus:
Complain about how the summers are too cloudy and cold, call I5 ‘the 5’, and act surprised when people already know you’re actually from California.
90% is California transplant flags
Next 10% is saying “I make $300k creating internal systems for streamlining data aggregation for business needs. Dang I love this city, it just needs another glass building- that theater/ historic landmark/ orphanage could totally be bulldozed”
Everything south of LA is:
La Jolla, hateful mean snobs
San Diego, topically nice but incredibly shallow. Deep as a puddle
And then drive 30 MPH in a 50, completely oblivious to the mile long line of cars behind you. Bonus points if you can be sure only a single car gets through a left hand turn light.