Hello comrades and welcome to the third improvement megathread of January! 
- How is your year going so far?
- Did you start implementing any new habits or new year resolutions?
- How was your week?
- Do you have any goals for next week?
Poster: Palace of the Soviets - painting by Alexander Kotyagin [1938]
Good luck with your goals! 
Does anyone know any tricks to getting hired?
Even if there’s zero qualifications, on the rare occasion I do get noticed. The recruiter thinks “meh” and rejects me.
Lie on your resume
Depends on the job, but one thing I have found to be successful is looking at a job description and doing a small remix of my resume to include words from the job description in my resume. It’s a bit time intensive but it least helped get some call backs.
I kid you not in white size 2 text I have “commitment to innovation” on my resume for this very reason.