the details aren’t super important and i’m not going to go into particular depth here but, in summary: i am on break. the burnout is quite bad. the “avalanche analogy” is pretty apt for what i’m dealing with here.
if you’ve never heard the “avalanche analogy” before, it is this: no individual snowflake is the problem, but the accumulation in an avalanche is still catastrophic.
individually, nothing i have dealt with so far―technical stuff, users, situations, arguments on here, etc.―have been issues that make me want to not use the site. the accumulation though is currently unbearable, even on this fairly small size. effectively all the time i―or any other admin, for that matter―am on here, i am being constantly paged with things to handle; people to sort out and placate; content to remove; bug issues to delegate; and all while having hundreds of people make contradictory suggestions to me i have to make sense of, balance, and generally hear nonstop while being expected to act like a service worker. it’s pretty draining!
accordingly, i have not logged in for about a week (or really done anything with the site, for that matter) and even thinking about it is exhausting. so things aren’t great. it’s pretty clear i need to extensively step back―which i’ve already been doing because i’d like to actually, eventually use the site i help co-run here again. i don’t feel good about just dipping without saying anything longer than i already have though, hence this post.
i’d ideally like to be back sometime next week, but i obviously can’t promise that. it’ll happen when it happens. please do not page me in the mean time with site stuff―it will be ignored.
thanks
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It sounds like you need more moderators. Think about it.
Hugs. Try to be gentle with yourself. <3
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It’s great that you’ve recognised the burnout and are taking steps to look after yourself. You’ve done a great job on here, as can be seen by the community that’s sprung up here.
Take all the time you need
Thanks for the transparency. You’re a great admin!
alyaza (not tagging with the @ symbol as I don’t want this to just become another notification in your inbox pestering you), you have been a true delight thus far in my time interacting with you. Spend as much time away as you need. This instance has a truly excellent administration team, and will be able to take care of beehaw.org for as long as you need to be away. If they can’t, I’m sure there will be people willing to respond to a call to action for more people. Beehaw.org will be okay without you. And don’t try to rush yourself back just because you feel like a couple of weeks should be enough time. I know what it feels like to think you should be able to expect yourself in some specified time window to come back and then when you do you realize it wasn’t enough time. Instead of timeboxing your recovery time, I recommend picking some project that you really want to focus on and returning once that’s done. Maybe it’s drawing something, perhaps it’s writing a short story, possibly it’s hiking one of the triple crown trails in the United States. But let yourself focus on that thing and see how you feel after that project is done.
Anyway.
The point is.
Be good to yourself. Treat yourself with the same empathy you extend to others. You are valuable and worthy of love.
Please take care of yourself. We seriously appreciate you and everything you’ve done, same goes for all other staff. This past week has immensely stressful across the lemmyverse and no one blames you at all for needing to tap out from all this. A lot of people are expecting lemmy and lemmy instances to be like reddit 2.0, but that’s just not humanly possible. It also feels like lemmy as a software has had it personally out for beehaw… kind of like a murphy’s law situation.
Internet hugs to you. Thank you for your work. Take all the time you need, and then some.🐝❤
Gotta take care of yourself first, nobody is going to begrudge you of that. I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been through the same thing before … like they say, don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
You’ve got a good group of volunteers, they’re taking care of things, don’t come back until you feel completely ready!
I commented on your chat thread the other day about getting over burnout myself, so I entirely get how quickly things add up and what that can do to you in addition to the context of daily life that keeps happening as well. You absolutely deserve a break and to just enjoy this thing that you have made massive contributions to on only your own terms for as long as you need. You are a huge part of why I am so enthusiastic about this instance because I identify with your passion for this project. I know how it can look when literally all you are interacting with on a daily basis are the problems (because that’s my job in my career as well), but please know that from the user side this is an incredibly well run and respectful space. Your efforts in setting the tone at critical times is a big part of what we can enjoy now. You have accomplished major and important things here already, and you deserve all the time you need for yourself.
Well from the first day I joined it’s been evident how much work you do.
Do whatever you need to do, you’re much appreciated here. :)
Take time for yourself! You guys deserve it. You’ve had a lot on your plate that you didn’t expect.
Will you make me an admin? I have several qualifications such as open PMs and being the first person to reply here.
I’ve not been here long, but your comments have always been a joy to read. I’m a software engineer myself so I understand the burnout of having to manage all the things all the time. I’m thankful for all that you’ve done for the community, and hope you can come back and enjoy it once again whenever you’re ready.
Mental health is extremely important and often overlooked.
Thank you for everything you’ve done to date.
Take your time and we’ll all be here when you’re ready ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
