You’re right that it’s your place to talk about your opinion, but you’re trying to deny them theirs, that’s the problem.
I find “powers” a strange word choice because of its connotation, but if you want to use it, whatever, language is a complex and subjective thing. Other than that, I didn’t see any generalization from the person you’re arguing with, so I don’t understand your response.
I think you might have misinterpreted their line about their giftedness, they said “I’m considered gifted” then explained that they don’t feel they have “powers”. This does not imply that’s the same for everyone considered gifted, so it is not a generalization.
I have some strategies I use for not getting into a situation like this. I try to assume the best from people, but when I think an uncharitable interpretation is likely I’ll ask clarifying questions like “are you saying that all gifted people are only good at IQ tests?”. Sometimes I focus on the wrong details, sometimes the other person says things in a weird way, clarification always helps.
This comment chain got a bit heated, which tells us this topic is important to those involved. We have created this community for us to have a place to be freely autistic without ridicule or social punishment and to advocate for autism acceptance and accommodation. As such, we moderate differently than most other communities in that we take autistic traits into account. Sometimes, those traits lead to social misunderstandings even amongst ourselves. In addition to that, we also feel things strongly, tend to have a strong sense of justice, and have likely had a long history of being misunderstood ourselves or even purposefully bullied. Combining all of that can and often results in strong emotional responses. The mods themselves have these experiences too, so we get it. Each of us will probably have one soon.
With this in mind, we hope to use this comment chain as an opportunity to learn and unite. To us, it seems that this started with a misunderstanding of the spirit of the messages, so maybe we can clear things up using a message-spirit translator and hopefully the users feel comfortable to correct us if we are wrong.
RoS: I don’t like that we are treated as if we had super powers.
Haui: Some of us do have extraordinary mental capacities though.
SW: I have been deemed to have extraordinary mental capacities, but I don’t like to think that it is valid. Maybe I’m just good at succeeding in the way psychologists measure mental capacities.
Haui: I feel that my perspective has been deemed invalid. I find the measurement method has some validity and am proud of my extraordinary mental capacities.
SW: One, I’m confused. Two, here is some advice from my perspective that I think would avoid our confusion and related displeasure. Three, I’m autistic and belong here. Four, I don’t want to participate in this discussion further.
Haui: One, I belong here too, and so do my perspectives. Two, here is some advice from my perspective that I think would have helped with this discussion. Three, I think that your opinion on the way mental capacities are measured by the field of psychology can ultimately be hurtful to others.
Zea: I am not emotionally involved in this discussion, so I would like to help by pointing out where I think it went sour by clarifying a few misunderstandings, mostly focused on Haui.
In summary, we have all been treated as different and ostracized throughout our lives. That is painful and has contributed to how we have accommodated ourselves and worldviews to survive as weirdos, quirky, or whatever other terms that mean we don’t get to fit in. Furthermore, no one in this chain is tolerating it anymore (boundaries!). RoS doesn’t agree that we are equally different. Haui is proud to be different. SW acknowledges that they are different, but doesn’t want to be treated differently based on that. Zea doesn’t like us fighting. BomBS (me) argues that everyone is fundamentally valid and in this specific instance and that having a compassionate understanding for each other’s statements would be helpful to all involved and the community we are growing.
tl;dr: We have had difficult and painful experiences that are common to autistic people. Mix that with difficulties with social interactions and hypersensitivity, and we can respond quite strongly which can debilitate our conversations. At the same time, we are different people with different personalities and situations. That has led us to adjust in different ways. Those ways are valid and work for the associated individual considering they are doing their best. Let’s work together so that we and society can accept each other’s differences to being autistic.
Waited for time to pass and dust to settle to respond.
I appreciate this.
Understandably, I think people in mental health-focused communities are sensitive to feeling like their experience is being invalidated. Consequentially, sometimes i feel as though it is hard to speak a different opinion for fear of being labeled as someone who invalidates.
I’m not here for arguments. If differing opinions will result in that then maybe I will bite my tongue. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders based on this comment so I believe the community is headed in the right direction.
All i’m gonna say is that i haven’t been wasting my time arguing with this people, i feel already bad enough with myself(Not because of my comment unless i really screwed over, which i’m sick of doing), i don’t need to feel even worse than i do on a daily basis.
You’re right that it’s your place to talk about your opinion, but you’re trying to deny them theirs, that’s the problem.
I find “powers” a strange word choice because of its connotation, but if you want to use it, whatever, language is a complex and subjective thing. Other than that, I didn’t see any generalization from the person you’re arguing with, so I don’t understand your response.
I think you might have misinterpreted their line about their giftedness, they said “I’m considered gifted” then explained that they don’t feel they have “powers”. This does not imply that’s the same for everyone considered gifted, so it is not a generalization.
I have some strategies I use for not getting into a situation like this. I try to assume the best from people, but when I think an uncharitable interpretation is likely I’ll ask clarifying questions like “are you saying that all gifted people are only good at IQ tests?”. Sometimes I focus on the wrong details, sometimes the other person says things in a weird way, clarification always helps.
Hi @[email protected] , @[email protected] , @[email protected] , and @[email protected] ,
This comment chain got a bit heated, which tells us this topic is important to those involved. We have created this community for us to have a place to be freely autistic without ridicule or social punishment and to advocate for autism acceptance and accommodation. As such, we moderate differently than most other communities in that we take autistic traits into account. Sometimes, those traits lead to social misunderstandings even amongst ourselves. In addition to that, we also feel things strongly, tend to have a strong sense of justice, and have likely had a long history of being misunderstood ourselves or even purposefully bullied. Combining all of that can and often results in strong emotional responses. The mods themselves have these experiences too, so we get it. Each of us will probably have one soon.
With this in mind, we hope to use this comment chain as an opportunity to learn and unite. To us, it seems that this started with a misunderstanding of the spirit of the messages, so maybe we can clear things up using a message-spirit translator and hopefully the users feel comfortable to correct us if we are wrong.
In summary, we have all been treated as different and ostracized throughout our lives. That is painful and has contributed to how we have accommodated ourselves and worldviews to survive as weirdos, quirky, or whatever other terms that mean we don’t get to fit in. Furthermore, no one in this chain is tolerating it anymore (boundaries!). RoS doesn’t agree that we are equally different. Haui is proud to be different. SW acknowledges that they are different, but doesn’t want to be treated differently based on that. Zea doesn’t like us fighting. BomBS (me) argues that everyone is fundamentally valid and in this specific instance and that having a compassionate understanding for each other’s statements would be helpful to all involved and the community we are growing.
tl;dr: We have had difficult and painful experiences that are common to autistic people. Mix that with difficulties with social interactions and hypersensitivity, and we can respond quite strongly which can debilitate our conversations. At the same time, we are different people with different personalities and situations. That has led us to adjust in different ways. Those ways are valid and work for the associated individual considering they are doing their best. Let’s work together so that we and society can accept each other’s differences to being autistic.
Impressive work. Thanks for taking your time.
You’re welcome! I was nervous about it, so I’m happy it worked out 🙂
Waited for time to pass and dust to settle to respond.
I appreciate this.
Understandably, I think people in mental health-focused communities are sensitive to feeling like their experience is being invalidated. Consequentially, sometimes i feel as though it is hard to speak a different opinion for fear of being labeled as someone who invalidates.
I’m not here for arguments. If differing opinions will result in that then maybe I will bite my tongue. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders based on this comment so I believe the community is headed in the right direction.
Thank you so much. This is very validating.
All i’m gonna say is that i haven’t been wasting my time arguing with this people, i feel already bad enough with myself(Not because of my comment unless i really screwed over, which i’m sick of doing), i don’t need to feel even worse than i do on a daily basis.