• NABDad@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Guinea pig bites are the worst.

    It’s not the force of the bite, although it does hurt (they bite through wood after all). It’s the humiliation from having one of the most fragile, easy to kill pets decide that it can express its displeasure by biting your hand.

    Damn little meat potato. The only reason you can even bite me is because you’re so damn fragile I can’t risk dropping you. Also, the reason I’m holding you is to trim your nails because you don’t wear them down naturally since you live your entire life on padded flannel blankets. Where do you even get off having displeasure to express?

    If you weren’t so damn cute, you’d be on the grill.

    • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
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      4 months ago

      You gotta get the little potato some friends, otherwise they’ll develop mental health issues

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Naw, the potato has friends. Mental health is still broken.

        She’s actually very sweet. She just managed to luck into the discovery that biting gets us to move faster.

        • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
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          4 months ago

          Ah, got it.

          Yeah sometimes that is the nature of potato love. They live in a world of absolutes and tremendous dangers; they don’t always have time for calm reflection.

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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      4 months ago

      they bite through wood after all

      trim your nails because you don’t wear them down naturally since you live your entire life on padded flannel blankets

      Sounds like you know the problem and ain’t fixing it, chief. Leave some thick sticks with them

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I’m not sure how you reached the conclusion that they don’t have wood to gnaw on. They do.

    • Shou@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I’ve had a guinea pig and he never bit me. Not once. Only licked. He trusted me and I made sure he had a good life. He was outside and free to roam the garden until dusk. And inside the home if the outside was too cold/dark/wet. The garden also offered lots of plants to eat and hide under. He had great avriety in diet alongside the petfood and guineapig essentials. He would join me at the dinner table with his own plate of safe greens. We would snuggle every day. Everytime I had to catch him, it sometimes turned into a chase. He ofcourse didn’t want to go into the cage. The cage only served to protect him against predators at night, and from our electronic cables. Which ofcourse he didn’t understand. But he still accepted me picking him up when catching him. No biting. He knew he’d be free again come morning. He died how he lived after my dad let him out and left him outside overnight because he couldn’t catch him. My only regret is that I didn’t know they had to come in pairs.

      So what in the fuck are you doing with that guinea pig that it distrusts you so? I literally had to chase him sometimes and he still didn’t bite me when I gently but quickly scooped him.

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Just one?

        Well, if you had more than one, you’d find that they are all different, with different personalities, and you wouldn’t be so quick to assume you know all guinea pigs because of your experience with your sole pig.