20 y/o, autistic, AroAce, Marxist with Mega Man characteristics (also Kirby)
I am lucky enough that I’m not that interested in high-specs AAA titles to begin with: of the 100+ games I’ve put on a DIY wishlist, I’d say less than 10 of them fall in this category. It’s mostly indie/retro titles, older titles or mid-budget.
it would mandate user authentication (for example, via the state’s “Gosuslugi” online portal)
Go sus Luigi
The Times, not Daily Mail this time: https://web.archive.org/web/20240810182627/https://www.thetimes.com/article/marr-is-snubbed-for-a-day-at-church-9ds5783n35h
Can you tell me why that is?
I’ll be honest, I’m not sure it isn’t myself. My reasoning was that I can function normally most of the time and that the “buffering” isn’t that severe.
Your description of catatonia sounds familiar, I’ve definitely experienced it a few times, usually lasting a day or two. I had a severe case almost two years ago halfway in my first year at university: I couldn’t push myself to do things for school anymore and felt doomed to be incapable to manage adult life.
Oh boy, that’s a lot to read… I will just type out whatever comes to mind.
So, first off: what is “autistic catatonia”? I have never heard of this or even just “plain catatonia”.
there’s enough in what you’ve said that would make me want to look at whether undiagnosed ADHD is at play here and to go through an actual diagnostic process to either rule it in or to rule it out.
That’s basically where I’m already at regarding possible ADHD. I started the process at looking at counsel or whatever means of support available, so I want to get into that too. If only the municipality will get back to me…
If you literally feel like there’s some sort of physiological or psychological “block” that makes you sort of freeze up or buffer
I must say that I took your examples of crossing physical boundaries metaphorically: making that first step towards doing something is often scary to me, because it means I’ve committed to it and have to walk the path with uncertainty. I don’t experience it in the literal sense, except when it’s tied to such a moment, like leaving bed.
Other people here suggested timers and such. My mind worries that I’ll eventually start ignoring them anyway, but I should at least have tried it.
As for my “sensory diet”, I argue I have not enough stimulation, leading me to get lost in my own head in search of something to do.
Lastly, I want to say that I’ve grown up to be scared of negative reactions / criticism, in particular from my mom: she has quite unfiltered reactions and when I complain successfully places the blame on me. I think her + my autistic perfectionism has contributed the most to a fear of trying or not doing things perfectly.
I have never really tried work timers yet, maybe I should genuinely try it tomorrow.
I joined a study group at my university for people with procrastination problems, with the same rationale as you put forward. But they all study something different, so it isn’t super effective. I do want to avoid working at home in my room, it seems to emit an anti-work aura. So far I’ve found my local library to be the most pleasant work environment.
Perhaps I could listen to music more often, but audio books or podcasts are no-go’s: I can’t multitask anyway and I also have a harder time than average understanding spoken words (I always turn on subtitles for Youtube videos).
I can confidently say it’s not burnout, at least. I have indeed considered if I might also have ADHD, but I haven’t looked into that yet. But what is “autistic catatonia”?
I already am familiar with what PDA is and I almost certainly have it. But this general sluggishness is affecting most things in life for me, including things with few expectations placed on them. At that point it might be perfectionism instead.
It has been especially persistent since secondary school, when I could no longer ace every test without effort and homework loads increased dramatically.
With stuff like school assignments, it’s almost certainly pathological demand avoidance (PDA) being at play, sometimes not even deadlines are enough and I turn in things late. BeamBrain brought it up but I knew of the concept beforehand. It however affects me most of the time, when I have to decide for myself on what to do.
I indeed have trouble with delaying things to the last moment. It sucks: I’m either too passive and not doing anything or rushing and wearing myself out.
Yes, yes, yes. Lots of buffering/lagging, also while I am doing something.
I actually don’t get around to them often, aside from working out. When I am doing them, what often happens is that I am neglecting schoolwork, it piles up over 2-3 weeks and I then collapse in on myself. Instead i instinctively watch the one Discord server I’m in or play around on Google Maps, it’s like stimming behaviour.
I hate how I will feel determined to do things when I go to bed and then have trouble getting up the morning after, regardless of how much I’ve slept. One thing I’ve noticed is how I often become tired when I get home from school, when I didn’t feel the need for rest earlier. Part of me suspects that I simply am not eating enough for all the walking to/from school and working out that I do.
The order of things is very consistent, but when these things happen is not.
I also want to add that I often feel like I’m running on auto-pilot and that the sluggishness can be overcome with bursts of confidence and determination, but those happen irregularly. I also have a tendency for perfectionism.
Alongside the usual hand-wringing about China’s economy, it also talks talks about how “younger Chinese consumers are increasingly spending their money on experiences like travel rather than status symbols”:
Aspirational Chinese “no longer need brands to define their joy or labels to prove their affluence,” said Jessica Gleeson, CEO of BrighterBeauty, a Shanghai-based retail sector consultancy firm. “Investments in self, health and entertainment experiences are where dollars are moving and I don’t see the trend reversing.”
Zhang Tong used to spend at least 100,000 yuan ($14,000) a year buying Gucci bags, limited-edition Air Jordan sneakers and fancy dresses as she sought to emulate the well-trodden path of China’s successful as a grade A student. “I didn’t have much of my own thinking and judgment back then,” said Zhang, 24, who lives in Shanghai. “I just knew there was a standard way to follow, to wear or act like a cool person, so I was just following.” Now she’s pursuing a PhD program in museology, and her preferred outfit is a plain T-shirt, a free canvas bag from her university and a pair of Crocs. Being cool no longer means showing off the biggest brand names and pursuing a certain career, but having the best story to tell on social media.
“Being expensive is no longer enough,” said BrighterBeauty’s Gleeson. “Chinese consumers have discovered that the ability to buy more does not earn you more happiness or fulfillment.”
Also this was just plain funny:
Coco Li, 46, used to spend about HK$600,000 ($77,000) a year — or roughly 20% of her income — buying luxury items. After losing her job as an executive at a multinational company in Hong Kong, she’s curtailed her habit and put some of her Hermes handbags up for sale on mainland Chinese online platforms. “In the past, I just bought luxury without thinking as long as I liked it,” said Li. “I don’t have anything special that I want to buy now because I don’t know where my future income will be.”
RIP bozo
The character in my profile pic and which I relate to a lot is also called Subaru (in Japan)