Gratitude thread!

I’m grateful that I cooked my dinner for tonight last night.

Trampoline park not fun. Awkward with new friend. Wouldn’t be surprised if I never hear from him again lol.

I need sleep. Sorry to be a downer.

Gratitude thread :)

• Saw my friend from Sydney last night. She gave me Jesus soap and put some in our friend’s shower for shits and gigs.

• going to a trampoline park today which hopefully should be fun

• my aunt told me she’s getting a puppy in two weeks and I’m so excited to meet her

• also I found out who the girl was from work yesterday. Turns out she sometimes goes by a different name to what she introduced herself as. I wasn’t going insane :D

Gratitude thread!

Today I’m seeing my friend who I haven’t seen in six months (she lives in Sydney) and she’s going to surprise another one of my friends :)

Also I was greeted by the doggo when I woke up this morning, which is a rare occurrence. I believe he sees me as lower than him on the food chain hahaha

Someone from work messaged me asking how to do something, and I don’t recognise the name? She told me I showed her the process and I don’t recall it at all?

Gratitude thread :)

Mine:

• psych appt, she gave me an extra 10 minutes because I was crying
• going to guitar trial lesson soon

Gratitude thread!

Me today - went to a pasta making class with a couple of family friends. Nonna’s cooking class is better but it was still fun.

Love this, and what a beautiful boy! So handsome 😍

Things I’m grateful for today:

• meal prepping last night because I have a headache today and am not in the mood for cooking

Cumulus clouds ?

Doggo

Beautiful cat <3

What kind of cat is he?

Following a meal plan as part of a fitness challenge. Spent three hours meal prepping today for the next few days. It’s a bit of a headache having to figure out when to cook what, but I really got into a flow state.

Not sure what I’m going to do when uni goes back, but maybe I’ll just spend all day on a Sunday cooking and freeze stuff.

Cooking is actually fun (even though I stupidly put garlic in a mega hot pan and it kinda burnt straight away)

Yikes. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Adulting taken to the next level.

I had a bunch of weird dreams last night. I thought it was from a lack of REM sleep the night before, but this makes sense!!

Absolutely :)

Yes, I’m doing a community gardening project and just talk about life with people that I see once a week. It’s helped me to remember I like being outside. Starting music lessons and joined a group fitness studio that’s full of supportive and motivated people.

Getting back into reading and writing and realising that I like spending time alone.

Making space for a social activity with friends / family once a week. Next week I’m doing a cooking class with some friends.

There is lots to look forward to!

During my therapy session, the psych suggested I could have autism. She asked me what I think I have. I said I show traits of BPD, but I’m not the one who went to school to diagnose these conditions. I’ve got no idea but I know something is not right. Even though I feel crazy and people perceive me as crazy, that doesn’t mean I am. Sure I’ve felt and said and done some crazy things, but those things don’t define me.

I am praying that therapy works. I don’t want to feel things so deeply anymore and catastrophise. I don’t ever want to have an emotional outburst like I did the week of the breakup again, to the point where I have to beg someone to love me and make them and their people think I’m a complete psycho. I don’t think it was a normal reaction to keep messaging him even though he wasn’t responding. At the same time, I have to forgive myself and vow to never do that again.

I stupidly started talking to someone new who reassures me without having to ask, and even though I don’t need it, and I’m just vibing and having fun chatting. Maybe I was just asking for too much from the wrong person.

Tried the PB&J, kinda slaps. Would consume again!

I’m trying to find things to enjoy and am getting so excited about trying new things in life, like new foods, going to a different uni next year, travelling, working full-time more or less permanently. But at the same time, nothing excites me? It’s strange.

I have a trial drums lesson organised, doing a fitness challenge, planning a social thing once a week, and going to start therapy in a couple of days. All this effort to work on myself just feels a bit futile. I know these things are going to be good for me, yet part of me is not convinced.

Maybe I just have to get through things and then they will become enjoyable. What a weird state to be in.

Thank you for reminding me that there’s still new things to experience. It gives me hope.

Going to make myself a peanut butter and jam sandwich now :)