Being manipulated often makes you look and feel crazy, as does dealing with arseholes. Sounds like you may have copped both.
Therapy is a good idea but have you also considered trying out some hobbies that regularly put you around other people in a low pressure environment? The goal isn’t to “make friends”. Just pick one or two activities you’re curious to try and turn up regularly. After a while they’ll recognise you and be low key friendly, but more than that it’ll be a bit of a break in your day where you feel comfortable and are absorbed in something pleasant.
Note - you’re not there to be besties or look for a date. You’re pursuing interests with the pleasant side effect of cultivating hobby acquaintances. Don’t give out your number or disclose personal info. Don’t be upset if you don’t hang out with these people outside of the activity, this is fine. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to settle in and see benefits. If it’s boring or people are behaving in catty/creepy ways (unfortunately very common), don’t be afraid to bounce to a new one.
Ps. I don’t recommend bars when looking for chill social times. Especially if you’ll be there alone, aren’t in a great headspace, or are going through a rough time in your life. There can tend to be a lot of unnecessary drama and while there are decent folk there are also a lot of drunk idiots and people who are just on the prowl.
Yes, I’m doing a community gardening project and just talk about life with people that I see once a week. It’s helped me to remember I like being outside. Starting music lessons and joined a group fitness studio that’s full of supportive and motivated people.
Getting back into reading and writing and realising that I like spending time alone.
Making space for a social activity with friends / family once a week. Next week I’m doing a cooking class with some friends.
Being manipulated often makes you look and feel crazy, as does dealing with arseholes. Sounds like you may have copped both.
Therapy is a good idea but have you also considered trying out some hobbies that regularly put you around other people in a low pressure environment? The goal isn’t to “make friends”. Just pick one or two activities you’re curious to try and turn up regularly. After a while they’ll recognise you and be low key friendly, but more than that it’ll be a bit of a break in your day where you feel comfortable and are absorbed in something pleasant.
Note - you’re not there to be besties or look for a date. You’re pursuing interests with the pleasant side effect of cultivating hobby acquaintances. Don’t give out your number or disclose personal info. Don’t be upset if you don’t hang out with these people outside of the activity, this is fine. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to settle in and see benefits. If it’s boring or people are behaving in catty/creepy ways (unfortunately very common), don’t be afraid to bounce to a new one.
Ps. I don’t recommend bars when looking for chill social times. Especially if you’ll be there alone, aren’t in a great headspace, or are going through a rough time in your life. There can tend to be a lot of unnecessary drama and while there are decent folk there are also a lot of drunk idiots and people who are just on the prowl.
Yes, I’m doing a community gardening project and just talk about life with people that I see once a week. It’s helped me to remember I like being outside. Starting music lessons and joined a group fitness studio that’s full of supportive and motivated people.
Getting back into reading and writing and realising that I like spending time alone.
Making space for a social activity with friends / family once a week. Next week I’m doing a cooking class with some friends.
There is lots to look forward to!