Back in January, in the hospital, my heart stopped for 8 seconds. I was asleep, I had no idea. I woke up and was fiddling on my phone, nurse comes in:
“Were you asleep about an hour ago?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Your heart stopped for 8 seconds.”
“Um… thank you? I don’t know how to respond to that…”
I have a heart monitor connected to my phone now, continuously monitoring. It’s stopped a few more times since then, 4 seconds here, 5 seconds there. Doc says not to worry about it, no cause for a pacemaker yet.
Tbf, while your heart stopped, you brain didn’t. If your brain had totally stopped then you wouldn’t be here. Not saying anyone’s right or wrong, just pointing out that a stopped heart doesn’t mean that you’re fully dead…
I have observed that, with enough money, doctors can fix just about any problem you have, except for a dead brain. Can’t breathe? We’ll breathe for you. Can’t digest your food? We’ll do that for you. Heart won’t beat? We even have machines for that. However, if I’m not mistaken, doctors can’t restart a brain after it’s stopped. That’s the one thing that can’t be fixed.
That said, if your heart has stopped then you’re basically one foot in the grave and will probably die without immediate medical attention (unless you’re like the guy I was replying to, where your heart occasionally just takes a break for a moment). As such, it would be apt to describe you as mostly dead. You’re not beyond saving, but that’s where you’re headed.
That description reminded me of Miracle Max’s diagnosis of “mostly dead” and so I threw in the gif.
Back in January, in the hospital, my heart stopped for 8 seconds. I was asleep, I had no idea. I woke up and was fiddling on my phone, nurse comes in:
“Were you asleep about an hour ago?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Your heart stopped for 8 seconds.”
“Um… thank you? I don’t know how to respond to that…”
I have a heart monitor connected to my phone now, continuously monitoring. It’s stopped a few more times since then, 4 seconds here, 5 seconds there. Doc says not to worry about it, no cause for a pacemaker yet.
7,5 bpm is a great resting pulse bro /s
Oh, yeah, that was the 2nd night in the hospital… 1st night it was the same scenario:
“Were you asleep about an hour ago?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Your heart rate dropped to 40.”
“Um… is that… bad? I don’t know these things…”
Apparently, yeah, for heart patients a resting heart rate of 40 is bad (Bradycardia).
Tbf, while your heart stopped, you brain didn’t. If your brain had totally stopped then you wouldn’t be here. Not saying anyone’s right or wrong, just pointing out that a stopped heart doesn’t mean that you’re fully dead…
are you really basing your healthcare guidance from an 80’s era comedy?
still better than american healthcare…
No?
No.
I have observed that, with enough money, doctors can fix just about any problem you have, except for a dead brain. Can’t breathe? We’ll breathe for you. Can’t digest your food? We’ll do that for you. Heart won’t beat? We even have machines for that. However, if I’m not mistaken, doctors can’t restart a brain after it’s stopped. That’s the one thing that can’t be fixed.
That said, if your heart has stopped then you’re basically one foot in the grave and will probably die without immediate medical attention (unless you’re like the guy I was replying to, where your heart occasionally just takes a break for a moment). As such, it would be apt to describe you as mostly dead. You’re not beyond saving, but that’s where you’re headed.
That description reminded me of Miracle Max’s diagnosis of “mostly dead” and so I threw in the gif.
Happy?
Speaking as someone who went to the Mayo Clinic this year, no they can’t.
I mean, I mostly wanted to mock our ridiculous healthcare system. It is pretty barbaric, at least when the bills come due.
Jesus tapdancing Christ, how fucking dense are you?
not quite as dense as you.
I guess I really should have tagged it /s.
Even if you had tagged it with the sarcasm, it still wasn’t a funny joke in the slightest. Try again.
Which is funny, because when we got married, I paid the officiant extra to do the speech… ;)