Have to share this pic of my cat being upset I wouldn’t share my after work cookie with him.
You are in big trouble.
If I were you I’d hide your shoes.
Kitty needed that cookie there are no guarantees what happens next.
Now I’m scared…
That cat is coming for all of us
🍪
The look of chagrin…
You may end up with a cookie of another kind on your pillow
So for the last 8 years I take a medication that blocks out opiates (in case of a lapse). It has been hugely beneficial in moments of weakness. There’s no point if you literally can’t feel the effects.
It used to come in film form that you take everyday, but now there’s an injection you take once a month.
I started taking the injection about 3 months ago and it’s played absolute havoc with my body and psyche.
For some reason, on Friday, I just felt normal. Motivated, confident and ready for whatever is ahead.
I guess it finally kicked in properly.
I’ve decided to seek a better employment opportunity. Where I am now is am absolute shitshow. My skillset is better put to use elsewhere.
Enjoy this beautiful day everyone ❤️
If this is the LAIs I’ve heard they have been a godsend for people who’ve needed it. Awesome that you are feeling it kick in for you. Good luck with your next opportunity!
hugs and good luck 🤗🤞🏻
I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t realise that Israel and Palestine being at war again was such big news because I kind of thought they were always at war…
I also thought this. I also didn’t know they were at war again until this post if that tells you how much I pay attention to those countries though.
Same, I thought it had just *flared up more viciously. What a clusterfuck. How do you even solve that situation
Thankyou @[email protected] for starting the thread today - the whole computer shut down and Bot#001 was unable to work. The computer has now been rebooted and I gave Bot the morning off to recover from the ordeal of being temporarily homeless.
You’re welcome 😘 hugs to bot, I hope he is better soon
We’ll find out if he’s doing better at 3pm when the daily dinner thread in the Food Australia community is due to be posted.
I went out for most of the day with a long time friend, talked about lots of stuff, good food, good sun, good walk… but not long after that ended - still feeling really on the edge of something in the background.
emo rambling
Fragile and unmoored and yearning for seeming opposites: security and change, belonging and independence, careful analysis and spontaneity, work and rest… really odd place to be in. Writing down a to do list to gather my thoughts into action sends me into a spiral…
I’ve put some calming ambient music on headphones and am going back into some paper books for a while. “See if it gets better tomorrow morning” is not something I can rely on forever though.
I once had an ex tell me my mind was like a machine with sharp teeth and soft lips, it was powerful but also dangerous; it always needed to be chewing on something substantial or it would very soon start chewing itself, very painfully. This was 8 years ago, you’d think I would’ve found lasting ways to deal with it by now.
But every so often I’d feel like my brain reset itself and I have to relearn some things from scratch and make sure the right programs boot up in sequence. I guess this is one of those times again. Sigh. This is so tedious and my current psych isn’t able or willing to go there. In fact I think she’s kind of gently suggested I see someone else for a different modality. Gotta start the ride again.
This resonates with me in a pretty significant way, and I suspect some of the things you mentioned resonate with a lot of people. I hope you find your way to what feels right for you soon. I hope we both do.
Thank you for the lovely comment! I feel like I’ve fallen and gotten up again enough times that I know I’ll make it through and find something that feels right - this time without the massive shackles from before of visas and all that jazz - but it’s the TEDIUM of the brain-wipe that is exasperating. And not always predicting what stressful situation prompts that.
more thoughts
I realise maybe there’s an art to recognising and sitting with transitions - both the concrete external kind (eg moving house, leaving a job, ending a relationship, diagnosis with an illness) and the more nebulous, internal kind (eg when you realise you’ve fallen in or out of love, or outgrown a way of life, or feel a calling towards a new mission, and so on).
I think I am OK with processing the former, but am still learning to follow my instincts with the latter and not push it aside. If I don’t acknowledge what is changing in me, and give myself the time and space, it short circuits my brain 🤔 and I must reestablish my values and intentions - followed up with actions - so that I don’t feel so unsteady and conflicted.
Living and working alone has its pros and cons in terms of working through internal transitions, and this time I’d like to go into this next phase a lot more aware of how to move with where I feel ready to go to but not let it sink me. Keeping some routines, ensuring I’ve always got food, make sure someone checks in on me every week at least.
And an idea I saw elsewhere - have a “menu” of items that fulfill different sensory, relationship or purpose based needs on hand for when it all feels too difficult.
I’m not sure if any of that is in any way helpful, but your response did prompt some insights so thank you again for encouraging me to think!
Some thoughts on the above.
spoiler
More thought is often good thought. But not always. Seems like you’ve invented your own version of a Rite of Passage - a formal bookending of a … a … a … period in your life. Dunno how to put it more succinctly or accurately.
Whatever works for you. Rites of Passage are not always easy - that’s not the point. The point is to underline an ending of a plateau, and kickstart but not complete the steps needed to move to the next level. Which can involve climbing mountains. Mental and physical. It’s just fine to grieve for the past if there’s good stuff there that you are leaving behind, but the real task is to step forward into the future. This requires courage. Which you have in abundance. I have great faith in you.Thank you for your wise and very genuinely encouraging words o wise Witch of the North. (Not meant to be condescending at all just to be clear - I hold your opinions in high esteem!)
That next step is definitely feeling wobbly and into a great unknown and part of me craves just a bit more stability at this age. I sometimes bitterly envy people who have a safety net of secure family (original or found/created) but that’ll do me no good, gotta work with what I have.
I do feel more settled after writing down those thoughts and also doing a bit of a spring clean with the clothes. Sometimes, seasonal rituals and actions are very helpful when all else seems uncertain. Clear out the old and let in the new ✨
I once had an ex tell me my mind was like a machine with sharp teeth and soft lips, it was powerful but also dangerous; it always needed to be chewing on something substantial or it would very soon start chewing itself, very painfully.
This so… poignant. I think I’ll be mulling this for some time…
For myself, my brain has been the most challenged it has been this year and it’s only in the last month or so that I’ve regained some calm that it almost seems both alien and too good to be true… but today I’m on the emo train.
I reach for the calming ambient music and headphones also, but it too has its limitations. Grateful nonetheless as it has gotten me through some tough times. Sending positive energy.
Everything seems to be going really well!
The basil (edit: parsley not basil) in particular seems to be loving it’s new life outside of a bunnings.
The mint is.also going really well, although the rosemary is looking much the same
(I tipped that water in the corner out. It seems to have copped a lot from all the rain recently)
For anyone who’s interested, here’s how it was looking 17 days ago:
looking good!
Thank you! It’s doing so much better than I expected
It all looks thriving!
My parsley is still a bit fainted but hopefully it recovers soon
Yes, it’s all doing so much better than I expected!
Yay! I’m really happy to see how you’re going with your foray into gardening. That mint is absolutely going ham, before you know it you’ll be needing to transplant it. May everything continue to prosper and give you joy :)
Ooh you’re right… I’m going to need to learn how to do a transplant soon. I was never very good at operation, but I should be good as long as there’s no metal and electricity…
Put the mint on concrete. If the roots get through the pot into the dirt, you’ll have mint forever, it tends to take over. Spite plant it if you get evicted. Keep the mint in a pot, a big one if needs be, but a pot.
Good point. Not sure about a pot, at least for the moment, but I’ll definitely move it onto the concrete and a little bit away from the edges. Luckily if it does start spreading, we don’t really use the section of garden it’d most likely spread too because it doesn’t get much sun, so I could probably poison it if it ever came down to it
Looking excellent! Almost time to tip prune the mint (and use the prunings for something!) to keep it bushy with lots of sprigs. Rosemary takes longer to grow - really really likes sunshine - so it all looks good.
Yep! I’ve never grown anything before so I didn’t know it was going to grow that much and so quickly. Luckily I do love mint, but I’ve never had fresh mint so I might need to find some inspiration for what to put it on/in
Turkish style mint tea … so yum in hot or cold weather. Fresh mint smashed up with basil & parsley for pesto to mix into in spaghetti - lots of lovely options. Mint juleps!!! I have to admit I go through a lot of mint in summer in the form of juleps.
Went down to Bonbeach for the anniversary farmer’s market, but spent too much time getting out of bed it seems. Literally ran out of food on three stalls while I was in queue, with one cutting off right in front of me. 😅
Gaaah, did my back gardening yesterday it seems. Hope it settles down soon. No leg pain/sciatica though so that’s a plus.
See if you can score some time on one of those vibrating platforms, holy shit i’m a believer.
My google feed is all food related. How to make roast potatoes in the airfryer. Aussie cheesecake jelly slice.
Now I need to make a jelly slice.
The Minipeelers just presented me with all their cash savings and asked me very nicely if they can have new Halloween costumes. Elder wanted a Scream costume with retractable bladed knife and Miniest wanted a Headless Horseman costume 😂 We have a party at home every year, just our household and no trick or treating. Looks like it’s gonna be crazy this year!
Side note: somewhat dismayed by the girls and women’s costumes. The girls costumes were all “cutesy little skirt” type things, and the women’s costumes were all sexy nun/nurse/dead person/anything with a short skirt and thigh high stockings. Miniest is a classic “tomboy” (for want of a better term) and I’m overweight and middle-aged… we ain’t no shortie skirt wearers and I’m more than happy to leave that look to those more appropriately aged/proportioned to wear it!
Halloween party sounds fun! Is it just for kids or is there adult fun as well?
We have an adult sized skeleton onesie that Mr Peeler likes to put on for a time. Retro daggy horror movies and junk food are enjoyed by all. Later on when the kids are finally in bed we watch the late movies like “Vampyros Lesbos,” “Patrick,” Rocky Horror etc. If it’s Kitch or B-grade and Aussie, we love it!
Do you get many trick or treaters coming round? We’ve only been back in Melbourne for a couple years and it’s pretty dead where we are unfortunately.
I would much prefer the undead
If you use FB check your local community group. Some do maps of people who agree to be trick or treated, others do the orange balloon on the letterbox thing.
Yeah we carve the pumpkins 🎃 and drag our skeleton out the closet hehe.
( I did roast the pumpkin seeds one year which was kinda good)
We have wrapped loot only rules. Which I totally understand, but there are soooooo many demented things I could make if let loose
It’s pretty quiet where I am too. No point in the kids going trick or treating as most people just aren’t into it around here. I mean there’s the odd house that puts up some decorations but few and far between.
I’m a mouse… duh https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNEzWXMiZo
Edit: For the headless horseman costume they could have a long oversized shirt or tunic with their head sticking out of the middle. Supporting the ‘upper body’ at the top might be tricky… a pillow stuffing it would flop back and forth.
Maybe glue the shirt on a small cardboard box as if the box was wearing it, cut a hole through both in the centre for the face window, then lower the box onto their head like a helmet. The sides of the box will sit on their shoulders (you may need to cut curves into the edges for comfort and stability) and the length of the shirt will cover their body.
For arms you can stuff flesh coloured stockings and stitch straight lines for fingers, and just sew or glue them into the sleeves and to the shirt for ‘holding’ the kid’s head. Crumpled paper can be glued to the box through the neck hole and reddened with poster paint for the stump.
Alternatively they can just wear a pumpkin on their head
That’s a great idea. Of course she’ll change her mind about what she wants to be half a dozen times between now and then!
This morning I looked at the scheduled exercises and thought, nope! The routine very quickly turned into a whole lot of exercises that are beyond me and would probably lead to me injuring myself. I was a wuss and wasn’t willing to risk it, so I went back and restarted a routine I did a while ago, the total body shred. It gives me a workout, breaks a sweat and is doable, plus I noticed the best results with it.
Nothing like a bit of Pine o’ Clean to remind you that you cut your finger earlier today!
Ok my place is in a state where I’m happy enough for my married platonic friend to visit tonight… I’m done lol
I’d scrub a few more things if I were trying to impress but it’s pretty good how it is. Feels good too.
My PC is still a bit of a mess with wires but fuck it… that’s a job for Ron.
Edit: SHIT I HAVE NO CLEAN SPARE TOWEL WASH WASH WASH. I absolutely do not have time to dry this thing… I’ll have to duck out to the laundromat or something. I can’t even tell her to bring one coz she’ll be on the train by now lol
Although I almost never have people visit let alone stay over, your edit is why I have like 8 towels. Shit takes forever to dry! Enjoy the company!
I used to have more but I threw them out when I got a new set for Christmas thinking “why would I need more than 2 towels?”
Oh cruel twist of fate! It’ll be ok. We take the hits and roll with the punches.
Do you know what is sexy as hell? Cable management.
can confirm
Oooh yeah baby
You might like my friend Charlie too, who is in charge of my charging cable.
Charging Charlie
I know :( I’ve been meaning to sort all of this out for ages. There’s a Nvidia Shield TV Pro on top of my PC and PS4 and a Switch behind the PC which aren’t helping with the mess. I also for the life of me can’t find my bluetooth keyboard to go wireless for that. I’ve apparently hidden it too well. Mic, speakers, webcam, fan and all of the usual stuff.
It all makes sense but it’s just… messy.
Engaging emergency tea towel sequence in t-minus…
I actually do have an unused hand towel from my towel set which COULD be a valid substitute but it’s a bit dodgy. The hand towel is pretty large but it’s not quite a “bath sheet” like my proper ones.
Do you ever make kahlua mochaccinos?
Never have! Honestly I haven’t used the espresso machine for… I don’t know how long. I really should get some beans and fire it up again. Also that kahlua bottle is empty, one of the ones I poured down the sink the other week because I’d had it for years. The only thing I ever made with it was espresso martinis way back in 2019 as shown here:
That looks like it would’ve been a nice drink. What’s it called when it’s made with tequila instead of vodka? I always preferred it that way…
It was lovely! I didn’t know people made them that way but apparently they’re just called a Tequila Espresso Martini
I let Ted Cat out on the balcony today. He liked the fresh air, the sun and the interesting new view. :)
Breakfast burritos time 💃💃🌯🇲🇽
