A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and asks “Didn’t I see you in here with Descartes last weekend?”

The horse thinks for a moment and says, “I don’t think so.”

The horse vanishes.

You see, the joke is a reference to Descartes’ philosophical work, specifically his oft-quoted Latin phrase “Cogito, ergo sum” which has often been overly simplified in western pop culture as “I think, therefore I am”. There have been many pop-culture variations on this in varying degrees of seriousness, but more often it’s used for comedic effect, such as imagining talking horses vanishing from bars. The actual philosophy is quite nuanced. Descartes even mused on the concept of thought itself, attempting to take nothing for granted.

I mean, I could have explained the philosophical background to the silly joke at the start. But that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

My dog doesn’t have a nose. How does he smell?

This animal joke brought to you by the people that steal bad jokes from reddit gang.

Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

A horse walks into the bar.

The bartender says “what is this, a set up to a joke?”

The horse goes neigh

Why didn’t the lifeguard at the beach save the hippy from drowning?

Cause he was too far out maaaan

Giraffe walks into a bar

Bartender says, “You want a longneck?”

Giraffe says, “I have a choice?”

What did one Marxist-Leninist say to another?

Beanis cum piss shid fard beanis

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because even a chicken knows jaywalking shouldn’t be a crime.

What does a marxist and an anarchist have in common?

They’re in the same polycule

What’s the difference between a Marxist-Socialist and a Keynesian economist?

Several things, including but not limited to the following: The Marxist-Socialist believes that workers should own the means of production, whereas Keynesians support the private ownership over the means of production. Marxist-Socialists believe that centralized government would ultimately wither away after a revolution, whereas Keynesians advocate greater government action to ensure full societal employment. Finally, a Marxist-Socialist would not be invited to a party that a Keynesian was throwing at work because the Keynesian knows that the Marxist-Socialist would throw a stink about the way the cubicles in the Keynesian’s office were arranged.

What do witches study in college?

Broad-casting

How do you titillate an ocelot

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The neutron asks how much. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”