Once you confront someone with the stark reality that they performed genital mutilation on an infant, you enter the stages of grief, and it’s not so much that it doesn’t “work”, but instead, now the person confronted with this reality has to dig and dig to justify the genital mutilation, and they’ve NEVER had to do that before.
They’ll deny that it’s actually mutilation.
They’ll get angry at your persistence and your unwavering position.
They’ll plead and bargain over how it’s actually a good thing, and how no one wants the child to be “different”.
They’ll become saddened by the idea that they could have done this at all, if what you say is even true.
Until, after much persistence, they finally accept your position, and realize what they did was not necessary.
This would be true for those who are cut too. For a long time, it was just “normal”, and when these men are confronted with the reality that they’ve been living with an unnecessary mutilation, they will do the same thing. It’s hard reconciling the parents you love, and the idea that they consented to your genital mutilation at birth.
I will say, among my group of friends, none of them had their sons circumcised, and among us, it’s a large majority of boys within the group of kids. I don’t know if that’s a growing trend or just one local to me and my friends. We talk pretty openly about it, which is probably why.
They’ll deny that it’s actually mutilation.
They’ll get angry at your persistence and your unwavering position.
They’ll plead and bargain over how it’s actually a good thing, and how no one wants the child to be “different”.
This is what happened when i asked my mom about it. We did not reach the next two stages. We no longer speak but not at all because of this matter so i guess I’ll never know if she feels bad for doing it.
I realize I’m making it seem like it’s something that I think or talk about a lot but I only get obstinate about it when it’s brought up by someone else
My mum is the same, she’ll avoid the discussion or get really bad faith mean when pressed. Cuz of this and a few other stuff, we have no relationship now. We’d probably be fine-ish if she took 5 seconds to apologise for 3 things.
When I went down the rabbit hole of this years back, I got REALLY angry. It took a long time for me to pull out of it. I hope you’re doing OK.
I appreciate the sentiment but I’ve been ok with it for a long time.
CW non-traumatic personal parental stuff
Pretty easy to get over it when i have a lot of evidence that my mother’s a narcissist and likely did it without regard for me at all and if my dad protested(unlikely) she probably manipulated his emotions.
I’m sorry about all that. That’s gotta be hard to get over.
In regards to my parents, they’re just normie centrists, so it’s a bit more surprising that they could be so cold. I feel like being boomer white settlers does this to people.
Yeah, I get it, I don’t think about it either until it’s brought up. I’ve never asked my parents about it directly, and I probably won’t. My parents are pretty cool, and I know that when I was born, that is just how everything was done. I don’t say that to excuse it, but it’s not like the people around them were challenging them on it, and they would have likely accepted the idea had it been presented to them. They’ve had no issue with my son not having it done.
my brother had his son circumcised even though he was thinking he wasnt going to do it because his gf/wife brought this up. i was honestly kind of flabbergasted, i didnt even know what to say, seemed like such a dumb reason i couldnt believe i was hearing. small mercies that his son will probably not really care, but still such a shitty thing to do to your child,…
Once you confront someone with the stark reality that they performed genital mutilation on an infant, you enter the stages of grief, and it’s not so much that it doesn’t “work”, but instead, now the person confronted with this reality has to dig and dig to justify the genital mutilation, and they’ve NEVER had to do that before.
This would be true for those who are cut too. For a long time, it was just “normal”, and when these men are confronted with the reality that they’ve been living with an unnecessary mutilation, they will do the same thing. It’s hard reconciling the parents you love, and the idea that they consented to your genital mutilation at birth.
I will say, among my group of friends, none of them had their sons circumcised, and among us, it’s a large majority of boys within the group of kids. I don’t know if that’s a growing trend or just one local to me and my friends. We talk pretty openly about it, which is probably why.
This is what happened when i asked my mom about it. We did not reach the next two stages. We no longer speak but not at all because of this matter so i guess I’ll never know if she feels bad for doing it.
I realize I’m making it seem like it’s something that I think or talk about a lot but I only get obstinate about it when it’s brought up by someone else
My mum is the same, she’ll avoid the discussion or get really bad faith mean when pressed. Cuz of this and a few other stuff, we have no relationship now. We’d probably be fine-ish if she took 5 seconds to apologise for 3 things.
When I went down the rabbit hole of this years back, I got REALLY angry. It took a long time for me to pull out of it. I hope you’re doing OK.
I appreciate the sentiment but I’ve been ok with it for a long time.
CW non-traumatic personal parental stuff
Pretty easy to get over it when i have a lot of evidence that my mother’s a narcissist and likely did it without regard for me at all and if my dad protested(unlikely) she probably manipulated his emotions.
I’m sorry about all that. That’s gotta be hard to get over.
In regards to my parents, they’re just normie centrists, so it’s a bit more surprising that they could be so cold. I feel like being boomer white settlers does this to people.
Yeah, I get it, I don’t think about it either until it’s brought up. I’ve never asked my parents about it directly, and I probably won’t. My parents are pretty cool, and I know that when I was born, that is just how everything was done. I don’t say that to excuse it, but it’s not like the people around them were challenging them on it, and they would have likely accepted the idea had it been presented to them. They’ve had no issue with my son not having it done.
my brother had his son circumcised even though he was thinking he wasnt going to do it because his gf/wife brought this up. i was honestly kind of flabbergasted, i didnt even know what to say, seemed like such a dumb reason i couldnt believe i was hearing. small mercies that his son will probably not really care, but still such a shitty thing to do to your child,…
I can understand a man coming to this conclusion. Im having a hard time wrapping my head around a women coming to this conclusion. That’s wild.
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