currently juggling reading 4 different books at the same time; i would recommend you get a note-taking app if you are in a similar situation

  • Alice@beehaw.orgEnglish
    6·
    2 days ago

    I feel like I should be good. I dragged myself to D&D on Thursday and then speed dating on Saturday, met a lot of people and had fun.

    But as soon as both ended, I just felt hollow. I haven’t texted anyone back because I don’t think I can do friendships/relationships.

    The day of the speed dates I got into an argument with my best friend. I guess I misunderstood something he said so my response made no sense. I thought I was spilling my heart and he just said, “what the fuck are you talking about? How the fuck was that your takeaway?”

    And the fight was my fault, I fucked up. I don’t think he was unfair. But I feel incoherent and annoying when we talk, and I don’t think I want to make any more friends.

    • isosphere@beehaw.orgEnglish
      5·
      1 day ago

      if i did two big social things in a week like that i would be pretty burnt out and possibly snippy with people. i’d need a bit of solo time to recharge before i could wear my social mask again

      the statement by your friend here looks unkind without context

      • Alice@beehaw.orgEnglish
        4·
        21 hours ago

        Thanks ❤️

        I think it was unkind, but I also get why he lost his temper. Looking back I wasn’t being rational, was doing relationship OCD stuff and being really frantic about it, too. He could’ve said the exact right thing and it wouldn’t have helped. Been working on it, but I backslid hard.

        Gonna try not to take his words to heart but they did feel pretty bad for a little while.