As far as summer blockbusters go, “Indiana Jones” just got beat up by a doll dressed in pink. That’s right—the “Barbie” movie has become the hit of the summer.

“Come on Barbie, let’s go party!”

Hollywood was desperate for a win this summer, and thanks to a viral TikTok campaign, Barbie had an impressive opening weekend. Twelve year-old girls and their mothers flocked to the theater to escape the heat and see Barbie give Ken, her plastic boyfriend, the cold shoulder.

Barbie always had a ‘problematic’ side according to the feminists. How dare little girls cherish a doll that they could accessorize with endless fashion outfits and multiple careers? Lawyer Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Marine Biologist Barbie…Barbie could be and do anything imaginable. What’s wrong with that?

It’s boring, that’s what! Woke Hollywood wanted a completely revamped Barbie for 2023.

So now we have Antifa Barbie, Depressed Barbie, Stripper Barbie, Eating Disorder Barbie, and of course, Trans Barbie, who makes a special appearance in the “Barbie” Movie. Can’t have a hit movie these days without some rainbow and trans-whatever propaganda shoved into it.

We almost forgot, Abortionist Barbie. The movie cleverly sticks that nugget in with a scene of little girls bashing their baby doll’s heads into rocks, singing ‘we don’t have to be mothers anymore.’ Subtle.

And sick.

We don’t want to give away any spoilers, but we don’t think our audience is going to flock to see this pink nightmare (sorry Ralphie). However, you can be sure the normies will.

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The “Barbie” movie is one long TikTok video of the pink police state saying all men are bad. There, I just saved you $15 dollars.

You’re welcome.

—Tina

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    If this film is even a quarter as based as the right wing says it is, it sounds amazing. Are they freaking out over nothing as usual or is this film actually based?

    • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      It’s as good as an entertainment product made by corporations could be id say. It isn’t revolutionary, it’s a good starting point for having a conversation about feminism. I’d like it to have gone further but I’m not surprised it didn’t.

      Personally, I think it actually does a better job of critiquing misogyny in media more than it does in society as a whole they way it frames men in the film bc the way it did seems to have made a lot of dudes really uncomfortable and like idk maybe they should have a think on that lol