People aren’t laughing at you because you’re Christian in Texas you morons, they’re laughing at you because you think you’re being persecuted for your religion when you live somewhere where 80 percent of the population is Christian.
Even if it were 100% they would still find some way to play the victim.
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
– Emo Phillips
Damn you, you just made me waste an hour watching emo Phillips YouTube videos
That time was not wasted.
Motherfucker deserved it. 1879 gang for life!
Which is why I don’t take people like this seriously in any way, shape, or form.
The most unrealistic part of this is a conservative christian actually reading the bible. Unless he is just using it as a prop which is on form with these types.
There’s a Sears lingerie catalog inside it
Pretty G-rated compared to the Bible which Fb OP thinks includes only stuff they like in it
Pretty sure these morons only read the illustrated bible for kids versions. With only their favorite fairytales and lots of sweet baby Jesus garbage to make them feel special.
It must be so hard on them to be vilified and mocked for just doing the right thing. At others.
The second most unrealistic part is the guy on the left holding the phone with his fingers fused together
That’s just his trained facehugger.
Reminds me of this one
Can’t believe people would treat a cunt like a cunt
That was fun to watch. Thanks!
Wasn’t it, though? Can you imagine being her months later, still riding the high of being flown out to receive an award and have a nice dinner with fans of yours, only to find out that you’d been had and the world was laughing at you? That’s a supervillain origin story right there.
No one hates Christians more than suburban white people in golf shirts. Everyone knows that.
Where is this pictured, the DMV? No one is that happy at the DMV.
Looks like ai?
it’s definitely AI. look at some of the hands.
I mean, it’s very cartoonish anyhow, it’s not like someone thought this was a photo, right?
I noticed left-side phone-guy has conjoined middle fingers, so perhaps he just needs to hold his phone like that or put it away
I thought so too. There’s one background head just left of the central figure’s face that looks extremely off, and the teeth/mouths on many of them are kind of a giveaway, but there’s nothing really conclusive here that I can find.
The idea that is the thesis of this image is so stupid that they can’t even find a real person willing to draw it for them.
The hands of the guy on the left holding a phone up merge together. I’d say it’s definitely ai
Ope! Good eye, I consider this case closed
Yup, but idk why the AI didn’t put a cowboy hat on the dude.
Pew pew! Yee haw!!!
Looks like an AA or NA meeting to me.
Edit: Example https://www.americanriveralano.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/new-photo.png
whoever made it clearly had no idea on how to properly align the word BIBLE.
And they don’t serve beer (cup on the left)
Persecution Fetish.
It leads them to teach their children that they need to be ready to die for their beliefs. It’s fucked up.
It’s also a religion self-defense. If you tell people early on that their faith will be “tested” they are much harder to reason with because all they are hearing is “Satan is trying to take Jesus away from you” instead of the logical arguments against these made up stories.
It’s easy to make fun of this, but the sentiment it’s expressing explains so much about how Christians and conservatives in general are motivated.
The first premise is that conservatives in general are fixated on what’s “normal”. It’s very important to them that they’re in the mainstream and the majority. But they see faces that aren’t like theirs in the media, on the streets, and worst of all in power. Their favorite show expresses values they don’t hold. All the institutions celebrate black history and LGBT pride.
This is a problem because if what’s normal changes, they’ll have to change to be normal. Or even worse, they’ll be excluded from the normal. This is a threat to their identities.
This is how I understand irrational Conservative issues like the ‘war on woke’ or the ‘border crisis’. Trump speaks to this fear and anxiety in everything he does. When they say that “he’s come to save us” that’s what they’re talking about.
if what’s normal changes, they’ll have to change to be normal. Or even worse, they’ll be excluded from the normal.
Based on how much time I spend voluntarily associating with any openly conservative family members or coworkers these days (none), my anecdotal evidence is that this is already happening.
They are bringing it on themselves, but there’s really no point trying to tell them that.
Which is ironic because the progressive ideal is to leave the concept of “normal” behind entirely and embrace new different things instead of excluding those who are different.
Thing is, they are. Not because they’re Christians (most people don’t care), not because they’re reading the bible (Most of them don’t anyway), but because they post shitty memes like this to feed their victimization fetish.
i care that they’re christians. i grew up in the bible belt south in the 80’s. fuck these people. they wanna ruin my life? i’ll gladly return the favor.
They’re laughing because he was reading out loud and just got to Ezekiel 23:20
Ezekiel 23:20
Please mark that NSFW. I read it out loud on the bus and almost got arrested
I know of this lust
For the lazy:
###Ezekiel 23:20 (NIV)
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Ezekiel 23:20
Pick your favorite! I’m partial to the New International Reader’s Version (NIRV). Then again, The Message (MSG) sounds like a book I’d like to read
Isn’t “Texan Secession” one of those Russian psyop accounts?
This made me realize, I’ve never ever seen anyone genuinely reading the bible.
It’s got a lot of good stuff. Like, “the worker deserves their wages”, no wait let’s throw that out, and “take care of the poor & needy”, no let’s ditch that too, and “your breasts are fiiiiine gurl”, no wait let’s never read that out loud ever, anywhere.
My favorite is “be skeptical - test everything”, oh no wait no let’s redact that too… (I just realized how that doesn’t mesh with the most important verse of all: “just do whatever we tell you, no questions asked, capiche?”)
The hilarious part is not that they are reading the Bible - it is that they are not! Likewise for the Constitution that they showed up on January 6th to “defend”.
“Of course we read the Constitution! It says “we the people”! Well, we’re people, and everyone else isn’t! Just like God intended!”
“Well-regulated militia” - oh wait no, forget that part, it’s impossible to allow any kind of regulation at all.
“You can impeach someone for criminal offenses” - oh wait no let’s ditch that one too…
No wait, I want it back again!
I also want back the 3/5ths of a person thing, but let’s expand that to also include anyone with a college degree or lives in a city, suburb, or even those in rural areas who don’t support their local
Republicanchurch strongly enough.“One rule for me, while the polar opposite rule for thee” - it’s not hard to understand in the slightest. We all played these games as toddlers, the difference being that some of us allowed ourselves to grow up. :-|
Dont forget the cuckoldry and giant dongs
Never forget! :-D
deleted by creator
That’s because it’s not worth reading, it’s very derivative and essentially it’s just a rehashing of Life Of Brian anyway.
Some of it can be interesting to read, but I doubt most people care about how you can see a shift in warfare from bronze over to iron. Or the fact it works as a primitive bit of anthropological history or atleast gives a good look in how the societies writing and translating viewed certain things.
My SO grandma reads Bible explanation books. Stuff is wild I read some and it talks about aliens and dimension compacting and all kinds of sci-fi stuff but packaged in a very weird way.
“Explanation”? If the book talks about aliens, it sounds more like lore expansion.
Also is this the Bible or is it just L Ron Hubbard?
ROFL I need to remember this.
Nobody does. But I’ve seen plenty of people who walk around with them to pretend that they do.
I did. I’m also an atheist. It’s actually quite interesting from an historical perspective.
I’m taking a Jewish studies course where we’ve compared verses to other historical artifacts. It really is pretty interesting how much everyone wanted to claim “my
daddyGod will (or did) beat up yours!”
I read it out of spite because of how often any random nonsense in my high school English class would be call a metaphor for Jesus and I wanted to be able to call BS on it when appropriate.
Suggested to my mother that she might want to read it sometime, seeing as she taught catechism classes for the local church and she gave me the most confused look and asked me why on earth she would want to do that. The very same lady who insisted I had to continue attending mass and catechism classes until I got confirmed right up until the nun in charge expelled me from their catechism program.
I became an atheist after reading the bible.
Yeah. We are laughing at them. It’s their own fault for being laughable.
They’ve been doing far, far worse to everyone else for thousands of years, so a bit of online snickering shouldn’t hurt them. Like witch trials, the inquisition, the crusades, the holocaust, lynchings – that’s all fine, but their god forbid we make a few jokes online… that’s too far.
Lol Prudence, fucking suck it up.
From someone who lives in this shithole: this has never happened except for maybe a few times on a super edgy atheist subreddit for teenagers.
No white Christian dude in Texas has ever experienced this. We get it, bro. You’re the victim. You and every other Jesus-loving white guy in office right now, passing laws to take away the rights of anyone not like you. Even if this did happen, you’re all victims because a few guys laughed at you while you read your sacred book.
How did you ever move on from this moment?
Not in Texas but Oklahoma, and I grew up “Christian” and there was definitely one asshole in high school that just wanted to be that atheist asshole. Like obnoxiously mocking. anyone that mentioned anything about religion.
I’m pretty non religious now and heard that he has since ‘found religion’ but also believed the COVID vaccine was a government conspiracy. So tables have turned a bit there, or maybe he’s just dumb.
Edgelords gonna edge.
I knew those people too. It’s funny because I was the Christian they mocked at the time, but I’ve grown and went through time as an atheist, and am now pagan. For some people I think religious identity is primarily a tool to ensure they feel superior or enlightened, whereas for others it’s a search for an inner or outer truth or something else deep and private, and for others still it’s cultural or just “I don’t buy it”.
It’s easy for all of us to misunderstand each other when often our why is more significant than the conclusion we reach (per my observations). The people who want to feel superior are going to find people they agree with and gloat. The seekers are going to pursue understanding and self mastery. And the others are not going to understand why all of us care so much outside of transitional periods of belief.
Well its true, just more ln an international stage. Locally, those fools rule the roost.
I live in Texas and I’m laughing. All the way to the grave. Pls send help.
