I just can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t go back to repressing wanting it. I used to think it was pointless because it wouldn’t feminize me enough to make a difference and at this point, that thought doesn’t even dissuade me.

My partner’s been so great and supportive but she’s not into femme people, so we’d end up just being platonic coparents. She’s my best friend and I’m not brave enough to tell her but it’s also not fair to keep from her.

I just feel like I lose no matter what. Every option involves hurting my best friend. It’s just not fair to anyone involved.