Soooooo lots of updates from me. I finally moved into my own place. I was very curious to see how I’d react to that because I’m still figuring things out, but wirh alone time I realized that I never ever really wanted to wear guy clothes. Pretty much girl mode 100% of the time at home now. I’m still scared to present in public but that’s also because I just feel like lots of things don’t look right on me :/. So still figuring out clothes and stuff.

But, after a week of being in my own place I finally set up a Dr’s appointment to get referred to an endo. So, the ball is rolling in some way now. Makes me really nervous but also am feeling very anxious to just START. like probably will take 2-3 months from here to actually get estrogen.

It is strange because like, for me, I want to start. But I’m so so so scared to come out, and likely estrogen is gonna force me to come out at some point when the changes become too obvious. And that scares me. Pretty sure my entire family has absolutely no idea. I’m scared of how it will affect how my family interacts with me. I’m scared of a lot of things around coming out. Bit like, I also don’t see another option. I can’t go back at this point, I don’t think i could handle it.

So little vent post there haha but things are happening for me and I’m feeling better and better :)